


The vet, the cat and the soldier

by I_hate_mages_No_you_dont



Series: The vet, the cat and the soldier [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fenders, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-08-19 04:06:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 24,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8189051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_hate_mages_No_you_dont/pseuds/I_hate_mages_No_you_dont
Summary: Fenris has no big expectations on life. Haunted by his former occupation as a soldier he only has his cat Snow to rely on.When his one and only needs a vaccination Fenris listens to the advice of his friend Hawke and sees the vet Anders.Fenris' world seems to fall to pieces...(by glowelf)





	1. Setback

Around him there were screams to be heard. Bombs exploded, wood and metal splinters, blood and earth flew past him.  
Covering his ears he could still hear the ringing in his head. He turned to face his comrades fighting beside him, but his gaze was captured by the end of a rifle. 

“Too damn close, unlikely to survive that”, was the thought that crossed his mind before he was shot.  
Fenris awoke with a scream. 

He was lying in his bed, sheets and skin covered in sweat. Breathing heavily he pulled his knees under his chin and waited until the claws of the nightmare released him.  
“Kaffas”, he mumbled, a swearword he had caught up in the military. When had he left service? How long was he living in the small flat his aunt had given to him? He had no idea.  
_Why would I care?_  
As long as his life was going smoothly… A bitter laugh escaped his throat. The irony of his own thoughts was speaking volumes. _Smoothly. Yes indeed._ He kept up appearances that everything was fine.  
At the moment that was all he had left. Except his cat Snow.

_Speaking of which…_ Fenris looked at his watch. 5.39. With a sigh he got up and took a shower.  
He looked into his wardrobe and wondered what he should wear today. He wanted to look as ordinary as possible.  
His white coloured hair always caught some attention, yes, but still… 

His fingers dug through a pile of dark coloured shirts and finally found a uni-coloured black one, which would go with the jeans he was already wearing.  
He did not go out often these days. Visiting a vet with Snow was a huge thing. Necessary – it was a vaccination for the relatively new kitten. Yet damn unpleasant. 

“Snow?”  
The white cat came running round the corner immediately and purred as Fenris stroke her head. 

“You´re ready love? We´ll go out to meet some nice doctor today…”

Smiling absent-minded he took up the cat and sat down at the huge window sill in his living room. He cuddled his only friend and was rewarded with the soothing feeling of black paws massaging and eventually clawing into his chest.  
It took him two hours to eat a piece of bread for breakfast and stare out of the window. Then he found himself in a sudden hurry and almost forgot to write down the address of the vet before leaving. 

 

***

 

Fenris parked his car and took Snow´s transport box. He could see the entrance already. It was a small building, shabby even, which was shared by the vet, a lawyer and some families. 

_Vterinarian clinic._  
One letter of the sign was missing and the wooden door was covered in some kind of a yellow graffiti mess.  
_At least there will be not too many people around here._

One of his neighbours, Hawke, a confident woman with short black hair, had recommended the vet though Fenris had to drive quite a while to get to this part of the city.  
He had been to one other so-called doctor before, but since Snow had hissed from the first moment out of the box until they got back into the car, Fenris did not intend to go there again.  
Besides that the treatment had been really expensive. 

“Here we go, sweety”, Fenris mumbled and entered the building. He took a few steps and hesitantly opened the door to the clinic.  
The interior was clean and in comparison to his first impression pleasant. No one else was to be seen in the entrance hall. 

“Hello?”, he asked but got no answer. Scanning the hall for any signs of life – human or animal – a small bell on a desk caught his attention. 

“One moment Snow”, he whispered to his cat, put her down and rang the bell.  
Snow mewed when the sound was to be heard and Fenris grimaced. Carefully he took her out of the transport box and pressed her at his chest. 

“Sorry!” 

Fenris turned to one of the doors at the side of the room. A tall blonde man in a white coat rushed to the desk and immediately started to hack commands into his computer.  
Judging by the way the vet looked – his hair was messily bound into a short pony tail and there were dark circles around his eyes – Fenris wondered if he had been asleep until now. 

“That´s Snow. We´re here for a vaccination”, said Fenris and presented his cat. 

“Yes, of course”, replied the man, smiling friendly, yet not looking up from the monitor. “You´re new… Er, this is my clinic”. 

“I assumed so”, came Fenris´ lame reply, “doctor…?”

“Please just call me Anders! You can go in there. Room two. I´ll be ready in a minute!”

 

It took the vet exactly four minutes and 52 seconds to get to them. Fenris was impatiently pacing through the room already, Snow waiting in her box again.

“Hello again and sorry for my delay”, greeted the vet, offering his hand to Fenris.  
“Your first cat, eh? Never wear black with them furry little beasts.” A smirk was thrown at him, leaving Fenris stunned. 

_White cat hair on black T-Shirt. Great. I look like a fucking idiot._

The rejected hand was lowered and the vet instead turned to the box. “Do you want to take her out or shall I?”  
Fenris, busying himself with the desperate attempt to rid his shirt of the hair, simply nodded, giving his approval to the other man. 

_Very good, Fenris,_ he thought, _the recommended vet likes to sleep all morning and you embarrass yourself the moment you get in. Just great._

A gasp was to be heard and Fenris looked up. The vet was holding Snow in his arms, pain written all over his face. 

Though he stroked the sensitive fur on her belly the cat made no protesting sounds but cuddled into the stranger even more.  
Suppressing his sobs rather unsuccessfully the vet just stood there, holding Snow, glistening tears running down his face.

Fenris was incapable to think straight. Was Snow ill? Could he have overseen the signs?  
His first cat suffering under his watch? What if it was a hopeless case? What if she… _NO!_

He couldn´t even allow himself to think of that. Think of the potential emptiness in his flat, the loneliness, the hole it would rip.Into.His.Chest. Again… 

Panic hit him and he couldn´t breathe properly. He needed to clutch the desk in front of him to keep standing. Pictures were spinning in his head. Pictures of men with guns. Soldiers.  
Nothing to worry about right here, right now. He shut his eyes and focused on his breath. 

It took him some time to calm himself down. 

When he looked up again, the vet´s expression had changed from sadness to worry.  
“Are you alright?” The man hurried to wipe away his own tears.

“Can she be saved doctor?”, managed Fenris between two heavy breaths. “I´d do anything!”

Irritation crossed the blond man´s face and he forced a smile. “Oh, no need. She is fine!”

He turned and injected a small amount of solution into Snow´s leg. “Here, that´s it. Good girl!” Snow was placed back in her box by gentle hands.  
“I… I had a cat once… He was the best, cutes and most wicked cat I´ve ever seen. Looked like your Snow here. Am sorry… Sad memories coming back”, babbled the doctor but Fenris wasn´t listening. 

_Get out. Now. Snow is ok. No need to worry._

“Thanks… doctor”, stuttered Fenris through clenched teeth, grabbed the box and literally jumped for the door. 

“Wait! You forgot to pay…”, came a silent complaint but the vet didn´t follow Fenris outside.  
The drive home was nothing but a blur. 

 

***

 

Three days later. Was it?

Fenris rubbed his head in confusion. He was suspiciously eyeing his door. He expected no one. Yet the door bell had rung. As had his phone. Yesterday. _Or had it been earlier today?_

Being an ex-military he kept his daily routine. Getting up early, feeding Snow, eating, eventually buying food, reading the newspaper with Snow, feeding her, eating, working out, taking a shower, staring out of the window with Snow, feeding her again, eating again, going to sleep if possible…  
On Fridays he was seeing a friend for poker. Sometimes he went to the coffee shop round the corner to listen to the chatting of people there. Or he went for a walk. On some special occasions his aunt would pay him a visit. 

Yet today was no such day.  
Actually he had just ended the shower after his daily workout. His wet hair was slowly damping his shoulders, drops of water were trailing down his back and finally being soaked in by the towel he had wrapped around his waist. 

_What am I going to do now?_  
Perhaps it was a delivery? _I didn´t order anything._  
Or a neighbour, asking for help? _I´m not going to help that crazed girl Hawke again! Recommending that irritating vet!_

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

The door bell again. Feeling unprepared, Fenris pressed the buzzer to let whomever into the hallway simply to stop the noise.  
Moments later a knock on his door was to be heard. Curiously Snow sat down beside his bare feet and looked up. Even his cat had more courage… 

Fenris pulled the door open.  
Outside stood the vet, wearing a green T-Shirt, baggy jeans and his messy ponytail. 

“Hello! I... er… Andraste´s knickerweasels, is that an eight pack???”, stuttered the vet, blushing at the sight of Fenris´ clothes. Or missing clothes rather. The vet´s eyes didn´t drop below his waist line though. 

“Why have you come here?”, grunted Fenris, startled by the unexpected intruder. 

The blonde man rubbed his head. “Ehm, aren´t you cold?”

Fenris looked down on himself, a million thoughts crossing his mind, memories of swimming in the sea in winter and walking through snow with bare feet, yet there was no snarky answer to be found. “No.”

“You´re going for a title? Dwayne the rock Johnson the small?”

Fenris frowned at the vet, his eyes mere slits now. 

“No.” 

A nervous laugh escaped the vet and he started searching for something in his bag.  
“You haven´t paid the vaccination… Of Snow. Your cat? When you rushed out of my clinic, remember? I was close by”, mumbled the vet, “thought I might give it to you personally. It´s not much you owe me! Yet after your hurried departure I wasn´t sure if…”

Utterly embarrassed by the slightest memory of their last encounter Fenris blushed cherry red.  
“Yes. Send me the bill.”  
Unable to stand the man any longer Fenris slammed the door in his face. 

“I will pay it...” And that was his last encounter with the vet. Or so he thought. 

 

***


	2. Dashing dancer, idiot vet, spy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another bunch of days had passed since the visit of the irritating vet. The events had been so unnerving for Fenris that he decided to get some air.
> 
>    
> Fenris is a jerk...
> 
> Warning, chapter contains some violence.

Of course Fenris would have paid the bill. To his surprise he never got one.  
Another bunch of days had passed since the visit of the irritating vet. The events had been so unnerving for Fenris that he decided to get some air. _More often!_

Therefore he had carefully chosen a club, dressed in his usual as-ordinary-as-possible clothes – not a black but white T-Shirt this time – and bravely left his flat.  
Enjoying the colourful display of the sunset way too much he had left his car at home and walked all the way down to the lower part of the city.  
And now Fenris actually enjoyed the evening. 

The place was crowded, loud and cheap. Exactly what Fenris needed to stay anonymous, yet feel the vibes of life. 

_The alcohol definitely helps..._

Fenris turned away from the bartender after buying another vodka. The dancefloor before him was crowded, a lot of young people in fancy clothes dancing their asses off to some electro beat. He himself felt no desire to join them, yet his body ached to follow along the fast music. Absent minded his foot started to move. 

A promising grin was thrown at him. _Hello there!_

The woman was seductively bending and bowing to the song, her black curls framing her deep neckline. Her golden jewellery caught Fenris´ attention and he watched her for some time, a faint smile creeping upon his face. Her exotic look wasn´t his type, but his alcohol clouded mind would no longer decline a flirt. 

After another shot Fenris left his place at the bar. He was definitely feeling a bit too dizzy already and there was nothing better than fresh air to clear his head.  
He took a few steps and had just turned to wave the woman goodbye when someone crashed into him. 

“Kaffas, use your eyes!”, he cursed, then his frown softened into a faint smile.

“Fenris!”  
The woman with the short dark hair laughed and padded him on the shoulder. Some kind of red make up line was smeared over the middle of her nasal bridge and her high cheek bones just below the eyes. It looked wild and untamed, yet fitting. 

“Hawke… I wasn´t expecting you here.”

“One could say the same about you, love!” A wide grin was thrown at him. “Let´s have a drink. You need to tell me what led you into a club like this!”

Hawke dragged the sighing Fenris along behind her and placed them at one of the small tables beside the bar. Due to the loud music their conversation was almost inaudible. After some more vodka they eventually started shouting at each other. 

“So you did see Anders”, Hawke yelled and her mouth twisted into a knowing smirk. It seemed this was no news to her. “And did you… like him?”

“Snow liked him a lot”, came Fenris´ prompt reply. 

Hawke took a sip from her cocktail. Colourful spot lights turned their surroundings into a blue shady gloom.  
“You see I know Anders. Privately. He told me your Snow looks like his own cat. Ser Pounce-a-lot. That was his name. One day Pounce was gone… The poor thing. Anders thinks some weirdos took it away from him to scare him off… I wonder why he never adopted a new cat…”

Fenris had a lump in his throat. _Too many drinks?_ He wasn´t entirely sure.

“… ´guess he doesn´t want to see Snow again”, concluded Fenris. It was a pity. At least for the cat. He could very well do without panic attacks visiting a far too emotional doctor.  
Hawke shook her head. “Nah, he won´t turn down a patient in need! But you could ask Anders himself.” She pointed at the dance floor, “He´s accompanying me tonight.” 

 

***

 

Fenris gulped at the sight of said person. The man before him resembled only few traits of the worn out vet from the clinic:  
Over his black shirt Anders wore a glinting waistcoat, which was revealing the shape and curves of his slender chest, creating a classy and somehow iconic look. His trousers were tight and stressed the smooth movements of his hips, being perfectly in tune with the fast beat. Blonde hair strands were dancing in front of his face and nonchalantly tucked behind an ear, when Anders realized he was being watched.

He waved at Hawke and Fenris praying to which ever god was listening that his presence had been concealed by the other guests. Indeed the vet hadn´t noticed him until he reached their table, cheeks still flushed from dancing.

“Anders, look whom I´ve dragged up!”, introduced Hawke enthusiastically, pulling the vet onto the seat to her right. 

“Oh.” The warm sincere smile on the vet´s face dropped and morphed into a lopsided sneer. “How are the eight pack and the cat?” 

Fenris wanted to retouch with a snarky comment but – once again – failed.  
“How are… you?”, he said, but it sounded like a snarl. 

Irritation widened the man´s eyes for a micro second, then he chuckled.  
“Splendid.”

Fenris realized that he was behaving like a total jerk. _Too drunk for this stupid game…_ The vet didn´t seem to mind too much. He got himself a glass of water and returned to hang out with them. 

“So you´ve been invited here by Hawke, too?”, asked Anders, trying to start a conversation. 

“No”, answered Fenris brusquely. He just couldn´t stop thinking of the panic attack the vet had triggered. 

“I need to pee”, declared Hawke anything but helpful and made for a quick escape. Frantically Fenris followed her red dress with his eyes and lost track all too soon. Then the two men sat in silence. Fenris finished his beer in a rush. 

_Damn that vet._

Fenris started to count the empty glasses on the table. They´ve had shots, wine, beer and cocktails. _How much did I spend on drinking tonight?_ Fenris wondered. Well, he didn´t need anything else except food. _An additional lever would be nice…_

He gaped at the glass of water before Anders and frowned. There was a bill to be paid! 

“Still owe you…”, he mumbled, fishing for the purse in his back pocket. 

Anders forced a smile and made a defensive gesture. “You don´t have to pay.”

Raising a questioning eyebrow Fenris froze in his movement. “Pardon?”

“You should check your hearing. You. Don´t. Have. To. Pay”

Fenris understood nothing. The vet´s shiny waistcoat wasn´t helpful either.  
_Damn that distracting thing!_

“I do not charge you for the first treatment”, repeated the man, rolling his eyes.

Fenris still understood nothing. He stopped fumbling for the money though. “Why?”

The blonde man shrugged, but before he could answer the question three tall men appeared at their table. What they lacked in hair they made up for in muscles. Fenris whistled, fascinated by their angry, bull-like faces.

“Reporter. Good to see you”, grunted the first and tallest man. His green tank top covered far too little of his chest for Fenris´ liking. 

A nervous chuckle was to be heard. The vet didn´t look pleased at all.  
“Shit for brains! Not good to see you!”

A hand clawed into Anders´ hair in a flash and pulled him upwards. The vet yelped, tightly grabbing the hand on his head and jumping to his feet to reduce the inflicted pain. “Ouch!!! Let me go!”  
Stunned by the obscure scene before him Fenris watched the thug pulling Anders close to his face. 

_What the f-?!_

“You know why we´re here”, he growled menacingly and Fenris registered the anxiety in Anders´ eyes. Instead of letting his panic take over the vet suddenly kicked out and pulled his hair free.  
He turned and hit the thug in the groin in one swift movement.

Nodding in appreciation Fenris wondered where the man had learned to fight like that.

Anders paid for his small victory straightaway, as the second man got hold of his neck, wrestling him down, slamming his face into the table.  
Glass shattered, alcohol was spilled and Fenris rose from his seat. The floor was surprisingly unsteady…

“You will stop you´re work!”, belled the third man, while the second was still pinning Anders´ head on the table. “Today.”

“Or what? You think you´re the first one trying to stop me???”, the vet hissed and managed a bitter laugh. 

The security of the club finally arrived. The two men were dressed in black suits and shorter than the thugs. One had his hand down on the buzzer at his belt. “Problem?”

“No, of course not sir!”, came the prompt reply of the first man, who had recovered from Anders´ attack. “Leave him alone boys.”  
The sly grin on his face alarmed Fenris. 

“Let him go. You will pay for the glasses! And while we wait for the police we´ll show all of you where the door is”, commanded the nervous security man.

Fenris watched the thugs heading for the exit. Anders followed, one hand on his face, keeping some distance to them.  
The nervous security man expectantly looked at Fenris.  
“All of you. OUT! NOW!”  
Protesting with a huge sigh Fenris joined the vet. 

 

Three security men awaited them outside. The cold night air hit Fenris like a punch.  
His head dizzy he leaned against the wall.  
“What the fuck was that about?”, he asked, raising a questioning eyebrow. 

The vet had not relaxed one inch. The left half of his face was turning slightly blue from the desk cuddling already, his hair was even messier than before.  
“None of your concern…”, he mumbled. 

The tallest thug did mistake that as a keyword to turn on Anders again. “You will do as our boss demands. No more spying on his property. Or else…”, he whispered. 

Fenris sighed.  
_A vet and a spy???_  
He hoped he could sneak away soon. 

Yet the thugs had other plans: all of a sudden the man before Anders inconspicuously pulled out a knife of his pocket.  
It was directed at the vet´s throat faster than Fenris could curse. The security men and the other thugs spun into motion and started to brawl. Fenris eyes were fixated on the vet.  
“You will do as we tell you!”, demanded the thug.

“Of course… I´ll be a good boy”, Anders sneered in reply. The knife was pressed at his throat, and Anders went pale. “Alright! Stop! No need to hurt me! Your blade is quite impressive.”

That was the moment Fenris finally managed to act. He spun into motion with the determination of a bullet. 

 

Later he couldn´t tell how he got there, but he woke up on the floor and was quite certain that a buzzer had been involved. 

 

***

 

“Er, hello?”

There was a mouth, speaking some gibberish. Oh. And a face. The mouth probably did belong to the face. Yes. Indeed. The face was way too close to his. There was an intense scent of herbs. 

_Is that black eyeliner?_

Fenris moved his arm and covered his eyes with a hand. His head hurt. 

“Can you hear me?” The annoying gibberish again. 

“Yes…” 

Cold fingers were placed on his wrist. _Checking my pulse?_ He removed them with a determined shake of his hand.

“Are you ok? Dizzy? Feeling of nausea?” 

“No...” It was only partly a lie. He recalled getting into a fight and disarming, then taking out one man. The others… must have been taken care of by somebody else.  
“Are they gone?”

“They ran off, but the police is after them. ´Was about to take them down all on my own, but sharing is more fun.” A laughter was ringing in Fenris´ ears. The face belonged to the vet.  
Right. 

“Kaffas…”  
_Idiot vet. Why did I help him again?!_  
Ah, yes, there had been a knife.

He exhaled slowly, then opened his eyes and got up. At least to his knees. 

_Damn that spinning floor!_

The vet was at his side. And he actually looked worried, a deep frown crinkling his forehead.

“I´m fine”, muttered Fenris and forced himself to stand. The world did make a loop. _Could be the alcohol._  
Confused he looked around. Indeed the thugs were gone. Two security men were watching them, while chatting with Hawke. They had probably gloated enough already. Or had the vet talked them out of the mess? 

_Doesn´t matter._

“I´m leaving”, declared Fenris, more to convince himself than anyone else. 

The vet didn´t dare to touch him, his eyes however pleaded Fenris to stay. “You´ve been knocked out cold. This is not very reasonable.”

“Provoking three assholes in a club isn´t either!”, snarled Fenris. Cursing he headed for the next street. 

“Fenris, wait!” That was Hawke´s voice. He marched on, hoping to get away with it. He felt the cold of the night on his face, alas the hot anger in his chest was not affected and made his cheeks blush.  
Unfortunately Hawke soon caught up with him. “Are you ok??? What the hell was going on?”

Fenris let out an angry snort. “That idiot vet of yours is giving me nothing but trouble!”

“I didn´t ask you for help!”, shot the vet back. 

Clenching his teeth Fenris turned. He hadn´t even heard the man approach.  
Outside the music of the club had turned into a deep humming, resonating in his aching head.  
“You´re suggesting I´ll leave you alone with those charming youngsters next time? Good!”

He was very angry all of a sudden. The vet had not only triggered one of his panic attacks, now he had been knocked out too. 

_Better and better!_

“No, I was…”, the vet changed his mind, exhaled sharply and pouted. “Great! Then I won´t need to pick your prickly ass up from the floor again!”

Fenris was at his throat in an instant. He grabbed the collar of the vet´s waistcoat, while Anders desperately tried to pull away. Throwing a murderous glance at the vet, who flinched, Fenris shoved him away.  
“You´re a soft spotted jerk!”, Fenris spat and turned on his heels. 

Hawke, who had watched the two men cautiously, reached for his arm. “Fenris… At least let me call you a cab.”

“No need.”

“Forget about it Hawke. Look at him”, the vet scoffed. “No cab will take him home right now. Picked the wrong shirt again...”

Fenris had difficulties to contain his desire to punch him hard.  
He walked away ranting about the vet and didn´t stop until he had reached his flat. 

 

***

 

The next morning. 

Fenris had scuffled to the coffee shop around the corner. He wanted to feel alive again as soon as possible. Not that he had any appointments to meet. He simply hated to have a hangover. And he had a lot of experience with it.  
One black coffee with sugar did its wonders now and then. 

He had just received the hot medicine when he spotted a blonde mess at the seats in front of the window and almost choked on his coffee.  
The vet was leaning heavily onto the table before him, clinging to a small cup of tea. His face was bruised and he looked like he had been crying all night.  
His loose T-Shirt irritated Fenris. The dashing dancer had once more transformed into a mess. 

Opposite to him Hawke was yawning. She wore a high collared blouse and small earrings. At least she looked happy. 

_Of course. No wonder Hawke recommended Anders._  
Was this some sort of date gone wrong? _Not unlikely._

Fenris scanned the shop for an alternative exit route, but found none. He had to pass them if he wanted to leave. 

_Damn._

Eyes on the floor he took a few steps. Needless to say Hawke saw him and waved. 

“Morning Fenris! Woah, your head looks nasty. You´re ok?”

Confused Fenris touched the spot above his ear Hawke was pointing at. It hurt. Probably got himself a bruise too when he fell over. 

“…am fine”, he said. He noticed that the vet avoided to look at him and snorted.  
“Gotta dash. Bye Hawke.”

The woman nodded. “See you around Fenris.”

Relieved Fenris moved on, but all of a sudden was held back. Cold hands clasped his bare wrist. 

“Wait…”

The vet´s voice was shaky. Fenris froze and pulled his arm free. He hated it to be touched by strangers.  
Memories lurked in the back of his head. With some effort he suppressed them.

“What do you want?”, he hissed. Impatiently he turned and took a sip of his coffee to relax his tensing muscles.

“I, er… You probably hate me, but… Thank you! For helping me with those bullies.” 

Fenris eyed the vet for a moment. He had to look up at him, which annoyed him very much.  
“Whatever”, he grunted and rushed out.

 

***


	3. A novelists (mis)deeds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It´s Friday evening. Time for cards and a few glasses of whiskey. Varric, an old friend of Fenris´ and best-selling novelist, drops by every week and entertains him with the latest gossip and chatter on the streets. There is a big party coming up and Varric invites Fenris to join him.
> 
> Proper introduction of Varric and Isabela <3  
> Like Fenris you´ll have to get through another party and a very confusing / awkward turning point. Sorry not sorry.
> 
> Chapter broaches sexual themes.

“And you got away with it just like that?”

Fenris picked a card from his hand and played it with a triumphant smile.  
“Apparently…”

It was Friday evening. Time for cards and a few glasses of whiskey. Varric, an old friend of Fenris´, dropped by every week and entertained him with the latest gossip and chatter on the streets.  
Being a best-selling novelist had its perks: Varric could afford the best drops available, he practically knew everyone in the city and he was welcomed almost everywhere too.  
Therefore he got around a lot, always paying attention to his surroundings, listening closely, catching the slightest details to enrichen his colourful stories. 

_Colourful?_

Fenris gulped.  
It sounded more like an euphemism for Varric´s more than explicit writing. _Who is reading such things anyway?!_

Striding back his reddish blonde hair the man got up.  
“Will be back in a sec”, he said and headed for the loo. Fenris nodded and refilled their glasses. Snow left the red cushion on top of the bookshelf – her throne as Fenris called it – and curiously followed the small man. 

_What a day!_

Fenris yawned and stretched the muscles in his arms, shoulders and neck. Absentmindedly he checked out his living room. The cobwebs on the high ceiling attested that he did only clean occasionally, yet there weren´t many things that could actually cause a mess. Fenris didn´t keep many possessions. Well, there were a lot of books. In his time as a soldier he had seen too many children unable to read or write. It was the reason he didn´t take it for granted, even considered it a gift and enjoyed it very much. 

After a few minutes Varric returned, carrying Snow on his arms. 

“Here we go sweety”, he whispered and released the cat. Bowing down the deep cut shirt revealed Varric´s impressive chest hair. Fenris caught himself staring and forced his gaze upwards. 

“She seems to get along with you tonight”, he babbled, remembering the unpleasant ending of last week´s card night, when Snow had clawed herself into Varric´s trousers to badly he needed assistance to get rid of the cat. “Got yourself a new perfume?”

Varric laughed, a low and delightful sound, then shoved the huge buckle of his belt back in place and sat down on the black leather sofa again. “I do adore your Snow. She teaches us how complex relationships can be.”  
A witty smile appeared on the novelist´s face.  
“Speaking of which… Back to the bar brawl”, he said as casually as possible. “You haven´t confronted that vet of yours about the thugs? What if he is working for the secret service? Wouldn´t that be interesting?”

Fenris frowned. “Yes, I have and he chose not to answer. And no thanks, I haven´t quit the military just to play spy with some idiot vet!”

“Anders”, corrected the novelist. “That was his name right?”  
He took a note in his small golden calendar, which utterly unnerved Fenris. He knew what that meant. 

Varric would start an investigation. 

_Brilliant._

“You are aware that you probably saved his life?”, asked Varric and Fenris blushed angrily. 

“Not even worth mentioning”, replied the former soldier and quickly added: “Or writing about.”

Varric played his last card. They both knew he had lost the round.  
“When writing a story there's a recipe to a good hero, you know. It's like alchemy. One part down-to-earth, one part selfless nobility, two parts crazy, and you season liberally with wild falsehoods. You let that percolate through a good audience for a while, and when it's done, you've got your hero."

Fenris stared at Varric in total bewilderment. “So?”

“You are kind of a hero, broody.”

“Sure…”

Noticing the sad look on his host´s face Varric sighed. “Oh. Not the first time someone calls you a hero, I guess.”

 _No, of course not._  
Fenris had been called a hero so many times before. For saving his comrades, burning houses, hurting or even killing people. The ugly reasons outnumbered the good by far. 

“Another game?”, he suggested, already shuffling the cards. 

They played on until far past midnight. When Varric took his leave he handed Fenris an invitation. 

“A famous friend of mine is throwing a huge party. Would be great to see you there! Don´t miss all the fun as long as you´re young!”, the novelist chirped with a wink. “And… I´ll keep you informed about that Anders person. Will see what I can dig up.”

Varric slipped out so fast, Fenris couldn´t even protest. 

_Damn that novelist!_

He closed the door behind him and returned to his living room. Lazily he dropped onto the sofa, eying the small invitation. A photo was printed on the front. The woman smiling up at him seemed strangely familiar. Fenris chuckled.  
A famous friend of Varric´s? 

It was the exotic looking girl from the club. 

 

***

 

Time passed. The hot days of a late summer slowly gave way to a wet autumn.  
Fenris continued his daily routines, struggling with the nightmares of his past, avoiding any unnecessary contact to the world around him. 

_12.39._

He turned around and snuggled into his cosy blanket. 

_Wait…_

Wearily he picked up the alarm clock. Fenris literally jumped out of bed and spurted into his small kitchen, wearing nothing but his boxers. His bare feet felt hot against the cool linoleum covered floor. The display of his microwave showed exactly the same time. 

“Kaffas!”, Fenris cursed and fed Snow, before returning to his bedroom to dress. He remembered having a particularly bad night, waking up every hour, shaking from the memories haunting his sleep.  
His mobile rang and a huge sigh escaped his throat. 

_Varric._

The day of the big party had arrived and Fenris had no idea if he wanted to show up or rather stay in bed...

 

A lot of people claimed to be persuasive. Only Varric could truly pride himself on that. 

Fenris was sitting on one of the comfortable red couches, downing the whiskey the novelist had provided him with. It was his tenth – _– shot. Within the last two hours.  
The party indeed was great. _

A bunch of celebrities was present, Varric a constant centre of attention and laugher. Fenris had learned the name of their host to be Isabela. Actually she seemed to be quite famous. Not that the former soldier had any interest in celebrities and the like. Judging by the bodyguards in front of Isabela´s private club (only one of many as Varric had informed him) and their behaviour towards people lacking an invitation it seemed to be a carefully chosen audience for a display of… 

_...Sassy-ness?  
...who is throwing the best parties in the city? _

Fenris had no clue. _Doesn´t matter._ Drinking whiskey for free was fair enough. 

Fenris´ gaze rose from his glass to the dance floor (only one of many as Varric had informed him). Flamboyant dresses and hot bodies were seductively moving to a slow song. This time he was drunk enough to consider dancing. _Perhaps not to Flesh for Fantasy…_

He didn´t want to give the wrong impression. The novelist had warned him already. Apparently Fenris had missed a dozen of hungry looks and flirtation attempts. _Most likely all Varric´s wild imaginations!_

With a sigh Fenris took another sip of his drink. He had no interest in anything but drinking, probably dancing and more drinking. He was still pretending his life was going smoothly. And sometimes he needed to forget that he was not only lying to others but also to himself. 

_Fuck!_

Fenris shook his head as if that could rid him of the thoughts in his mind. It kind of worked: For a short moment the world was spinning and he pressed his eyes shut. A mad laughter escaped his throat. _Kaffas._ He was so fucked up.  
When he opened his eyes again a spectacular décolleté presented itself to him. 

“Hmmm?!”, he asked perplexed. 

Two insufficiently dressed breasts – there was some excuse of a white ripped top – and a massive glistening gold necklace replied: “Nice to meet you at last!”

Fenris brain managed to direct his stare upwards. “Oh! Hi.”

It was the exotic beauty from the club. His host. Isabela. _Whatever._ And somehow she was taking a seat on his lap right now, her legs slinging around Fenris´ hips. 

_What the f-?!!!  
Being too damn close to a stranger. _

Mustering all his composure he managed to not throw her off immediately. 

_Breath! No need to panic. Inhale. Exhale._ If not for the alcohol he would have run off by now. Fortunately his senses were clouded. 

“Do you enjoy the party, Mr …?”

“Fenris! Eh, yes”, he mumbled and smiled weakly though he almost physically was in pain. “Could you…”

“Great!”, she interrupted his protest and flashed a wide grin. “Do you dance Fenris? Varric told me you´d be fun as soon as I´ve managed to break the ice. Actually I am very talented at breaking and melting things!”

“Let´s go!”, he eagerly answered if only to get Isabela off his lap. The woman raised a suggestive eyebrow then – _finally!_ – moved, grabbed his hand and pulled him off the couch.  
They took exactly two steps. 

“Fenris!”  
A blonde man stopped them. 

It was hard to choose between laughing and screaming. Fenris went for “Kaffas vet, why the fuck do you keep following me?!” before he could think straight, desperately wanting to suck the words back in.  
_Acting like an asshole again. Great start…_

Isabela ignored the comment and smiled. “Have we met?”, she asked, her voice all friendly and professional.  
It surprised Fenris that she didn´t know Anders. Probably the party was even bigger than he had expected. 

“No. I mean yes. Not really”, the vet stuttered and reached out a hand. “I´m Anders. I got an invitation…”

Isabela chuckled as she seemed to recall something. “Of course! You must be a friend of Varric´s! Haven´t met you personally!” They shook hands. “Stunning outfit by the way!”

Utterly confused Anders blushed. It indeed was a stunning outfit: a wide opened white shirt, a pair of braces holding up his pin-striped trousers combined with an elegant black hat.

“A friend of… Varric?” He made it sound like an absurdity or a joke. “Well, not exactly. One more reason why I need to speak to Fenris…”  
The innocent smile that was directed at Fenris felt more like a stab.  
“Hope I´m not interrupting something?”, Anders added, his face sweet, yet Fenris sensed a definite edge in his voice.  
_Or am I imagining things?_

“What do you want, Anders?” 

“I´m certain you can discuss this later. You wanna hit the dance floor with us?”  
Isabela smiled innocently, too, and it drove Fenris crazy.

Intending to avoid the vet at all costs, he fuelled the brewing conflict instead of taking the cue to leave together. “He can tell me right here, right now or get lost!”  
Fenris straightened himself – _why has the vet to be taller than me?!_ – and menacingly looked up to Anders, not expecting any further delays. 

“Good”, the vet said, his voice unnervingly calm. “We need to talk about you getting your nose out of my business!” 

Fenris was puzzled and his face seemed to reflect as much. 

“The little chat you had with Varric? Instructing him to investigate? Ringing any bells?”

The penny dropped. “I am _not_ interested in your activities!”, snarled Fenris. _Varric you will pay for this!_

It was Isabela who interrupted their quarrel. “Are you two serious?”  
She let go of Fenris´ hand. “Inform me when your little flirt is over. I´m on the dancefloor!”  
Her high heels clicked as she walked away pouting and Fenris was left with the unwelcome intruder. 

“You!”, he exclaimed in annoyance. There was an easy solution for this problem. He turned and got himself another whiskey.  
“I did not encourage Varric to spy on you”, he said, the tone of his voice as neutral as possible. 

Anders raised his eyebrows, obviously not believing a single word. “But you certainly have an explanation why a best-selling novelist all of a sudden knocks at my door, invites me to a huge party and asks curious questions?”

Fenris downed another shot. _Huh._ His cheeks and innards felt pleasingly warm.  
“Varric is acting on his own behalf! Yet I did tell him about the fucked up night I had thanks to you and whatever mysterious shit you´re in!”

The vet frowned and snatched the whiskey bottle from the table. Though his cool appearance he seemed very agitated. 

_So Varric has asked a few questions. No big deal. Wait! That bottle is MINE!_

“This needs to stop. No more sniffing around”, said Anders, his voice cold. “Your thoughtless chatter endangers people. Tell Varric.”

“Bottle”, replied Fenris and stretched out his hand. The vet obviously had noticed that Fenris´ life was depending on the whiskey at the moment. 

Anders crossed his arms before his chest, the bottle still in one hand. “Will you talk some sense into that novelist?”  
A calculating look was thrown at Fenris. 

“Why don´t you tell him… what´s going on?” He had some difficulties not slurring his speech. “He will lose interest… as soon as he has dug up the truth.”

Fury flared up in Anders´ eyes. “I am investigating a country-wide scandal in the pharma industry. Here you go. Tell everyone.”  
Anders placed the bottle back on the table with more force than necessary. 

“Very funny”, retorted Fenris. He leaned against the table to stabilize himself. “You´re a vet and a… journalist?”  
His mind rejected to take Anders seriously. 

The blonde man clenched his fists. “Why don't you shout? I don't think everyone heard you.”

 _Irritating idiot vet!_  
It took Fenris a moment to put the pieces together. _Those thugs were after him… because of his research on their boss? That was a surprisingly precise and clear statement for a drunk_ , wondered Fenris, padding himself on a mental shoulder. 

“People who trust me will lose their lives and their blood will be on your hands. Hope you´re happy now.”  
Anders shrugged and took a huge pull from the whiskey.  
Fenris´ mouth dropped open. 

“You´re pathetic!”, snorted Fenris, grabbing for the bottle. “And… not funny!”  
He couldn´t make up anything better. 

With an angry hiss and clenched fists the vet retreated, leaving Fenris to his beloved whiskey. 

“Alone at last”, he mumbled and sank back onto the couch. 

 

***

 

To his own surprise Fenris did not wake due to a nightmare. He wasn´t shaking. He was fine actually.  
Everything around him felt warm and cosy and nice.  
Confused he blinked. The dim light surrounding him wasn´t helping. 

_It could be early morning?_

Raising his head a bit he realized that he hadn´t been sleeping for long. The floor was still spinning slightly, he was still feeling the feverish hotness of the whiskey, he was still drunk. No terrible headache yet. 

_Great!_

Under his palms he felt the smooth velour of the red couch. 

_I´m still in the club!_

He must have fallen asleep or rather passed out somewhen on the party. 

_How friendly, Isabela didn´t throw me out…_

At that thought a single blurred memory returned to him. Isabela and he had been drinking together. _Not good._  
Now the music was gone, the party seemed to be over on this floor, though Fenris could swear there was a humming coming from upstairs. Or was it just his head? 

He licked his dry lips, the unmistakable taste of whiskey heavy on his tongue.  
Probably he could sleep for another few hours before taking his leave. He stretched his legs and yawned. 

_Something´s strange…_

 

Fenris alcohol-clouded mind noticed that there was an unusual weight on his chest. When his first attempt at raising up failed his alarm bells started ringing. 

_Am I too drunk to get up???_

That had happened before. But somehow it had felt differently.  
Fenris closed his eyes and counted to ten. 

_Brilliant. I can still count._

He was lying on his back, one arm at his side, the other…  
“Oh”, he heard himself say aloud, his voice untypically shaky.  
The fingers of his left hand were entangled… with some other fingers. 

His senses all of a sudden bombarded him with information:  
Warm. Breathing body. Next to him. Partly on top of him. Soft strands tickling his bare chest. Itchy wool blanket. Covering his legs. Entangled fingers. Cold!  
Shuddering Fenris removed his hand out of the tight cold grip. 

So, someone was sleeping beside him… 

_Well done Fenris!_ , he sneered at himself. 

It hadn´t ever happened since his return from the military. Usually he couldn´t stand closeness. Being here like this with a stranger… confused him. Fenris was certain that it had to do with himself being shitfaced and the other person being desperate or drunk as well or both. 

Scared what might have happened Fenris tilted his head, trying to identify the sleeper cuddling into him. 

_Fuck._

Fenris froze to the spot.  
He could hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears. For a long moment he was too shocked to breath.


	4. No more whiskey ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Certain circumstances are giving Fenris a hard time, after he wakes up in the wrong place with the wrong person.  
> He can´t recall a damn thing and running away when being drunk is not as simple as it looks... 
> 
> This chapter is going to be awkward and includes memory loss / embarrassment / nakedness. You have been warned. 
> 
> Sorry my titles suck X)

Fenris gasped next. 

Shoved the sleeping man away with a grunt.  
A low protesting moan was to be heard. 

Fenris jumped to his feet, frantically freeing his legs from the sheet. 

The sudden stinging cold was mercilessly spelling out his nakedness for him. The world around him was spinning.

“Venhedis!”  
Another swearword from the military.

Anders´ hair was falling into his face, his white shirt was no longer sitting in the right place and revealed one of his shoulders. As he awoke from slumber his eyes went wide in surprise and shock.  
Fenris tensed, his fists clenching. 

The startled look the other man gave him did not improve things. His eyes darted over Fenris´ body, and he inhaled sharply as they dropped below the waistline.  
“Well, fuck…”, was all the vet managed.

At least Anders was still wearing his shirt and… _kaffas…_ nothing else.  
Fenris blushed cherry red. 

Terrified he started searching for his belongings.  
_There!_  
A pile of his… and Anders´ clothes, carelessly thrown on the floor. 

_Need to get out of here!_

The vet cursed, trying to get up with some effort. 

_At least he is drunk too,_ remarked a bitter voice in Fenris´ head, while he pulled up his boxers hurriedly.

“It´s not what it looks like!”, muttered Anders, finally standing, carefully staggering towards him. 

“Seriously? What else could it possibly be?”

Fenris fumbled with the zipper of his trousers and faced the vet, who was standing in front of him all of a sudden.  
_Right._ He was looking up into Anders´ face, soaking in the smell of herbs that surrounded the vet like an invisible cloak. _Way too close._

“I can´t remember a damn thing!”, Fenris exclaimed, surprising even himself by the harsh tone.

Anders blinked, then looked away. “Me neither… I think… ehm… I wanted to talk to you. ´bout Varric. That´s why I came back…”

“And?!”

Impulsively he grabbed Anders´ wrists, which made the man flinch.  
“What. Did. We. Do?! Did we…”, his voice broke. 

Well. This had happened to him before. _Why bother?_

Anders blushed. “…I don´t think so… I mean, why would you…”, he coughed, “Eh, with me?! Why would we…?!”

Fenris´ body was tingling from head to toe. He could feel heat radiating from Anders on the skin of his bare chest. _Still way too close!_ , he reminded himself. A shiver ran down his spine. The words in his head did not find their way to his mouth straight away and Fenris had two breathless moments to get lost in the bright eyes of the vet. 

“So despite the facts that we are drunk and woke up…”, Fenris paused.  
He desperately tried to avoid the words `naked´ and `together´ as he went on “…like this…”, he had even more difficulties continuing, “you think it´s unlikely we did… it?”, devastated he trailed off. 

“Eh, yes? As for me, I don´t tend to have sex with people who hate me!”

“Good…”, mumbled Fenris despite the strange feelings whirling through his belly. Anders flushed face was so close to his, if he´d get on his toes he could reach up and… 

_What is wrong with me??? Right. The whiskey. No more alcohol! Ever!_

Fenris attention was distracted by a hot feeling at the height of his tighs.  
He looked down. Regretted it. Turned. Got Anders´ trousers. Turned again. Threw them at him. The vet yelped. Judging by the look on Anders´ face he had only just realized the missing pieces of his outfit. 

“Let´s never talk about this again”, Fenris demanded, while pulling on his grey shirt. His jacket still had to be hanging in the cloak room. “I´m leaving!” 

Completely dressed Anders collapsed onto the couch with a deep sigh. “We did speak about Varric´s investigation on me… Have you forgotten that, too?”

“No, I haven´t”, Fenris lied. “I will see to it.” Reassuring the vet now would shorten their awkward departure. To be fair after the reminder Fenris indeed intended to speak to Varric. 

“Really?” Anders´ was literally ablaze. 

Fenris nodded and headed – well, reeled – towards the exit. He passed the itchy wool sheet, an evidence of the surreal scene he was about to escape, and furiously kicked it out of his way, not wasting a second thought on it.

“Uhm, hey, do you want to share a cab?”, asked Anders nervously from somewhere behind Fenris´ back. 

“Not really”, replied Fenris. He wanted quiet. He wanted sleep. He wanted to forget the night and that included getting rid of the vet. 

He heard Anders cursing as he got up and started to follow Fenris despite his refusal. 

Somehow they ended up stumbling downstairs together to get their jackets. They walked in silence, their heavy breaths the only sound besides the low humming of the music upstairs. All the way down Fenris was concentrating very much on not looking at the vet. In the basement the involuntary pair took their jackets, then climbed the stairs again and reached the front door. 

It was a revolving glass door and they had their difficulties passing it. Outside two men in black suits were still on guard and watched them with blank expressions as Anders and Fenris epically failed at making the graceful escape. They crossed the street in an almost straight, to be honest rather zigzag-y line. 

There they leaned against the wall of a high building, slowly catching their breaths. 

“So… still no cab sharing?”, asked Anders carefully and Fenris raised an eyebrow. 

“Don´t push it!”

The vet pouted and examined his purse. He mouthed a curse. Fenris could literally watch Anders´ composure crumble, the light leaving his eyes, his head lowering, his arms defensively crossing in front of his chest… Obviously he didn´t have enough money left to get home.

Fenris wanted nothing more than fleeing the scene. Yet they were in Lowtown. Walking to his flat in Hightown would take an eternity. And Anders´ clinic in Downtown was even further away… 

Fenris toyed with the thought of calling himself a cab and simply leaving Anders behind. 

_None of my business!_

The vet also seemed to have jumped to this conclusion. He forced a smile. “…night then…”  
He turned and started to walk away with hanging shoulders. 

Fenris clenched his teeth. “Kaffas…”, he hissed. “Wait! Let´s share a god damn cab!”

It took ages until the driver arrived and he insisted on dropping the vet off first. Only then Fenris learned that the vet was indeed dead broke. Fenris didn´t comment and willingly paid Anders´ part.  
He also programmed a note into his mobile to ask for the bill of Snow´s vaccination. 

_Then I will stop feeling responsible in a moment like this!_ , he told himself and sighed. 

“Thanks!”, smiled the vet and dropped out of the car. “Night Fenris.”

“Night…”, mumbled Fenris. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. 

_No. More. Whiskey. Ever._

 

***

 

Fenris pushed the tenement door open, leaving the dark hallway behind.  
_Finally outside._  
The sun was shining and the colourful leaves of the trees were forming a beautiful contrast to the evergreen hedge in front of the house. The air was cool and fresh, a mild day, perfect for a walk. Only Fenris didn´t share that point of view. 

_Why is the sun so fucking bright today? It ought to be autumn! Where´s the rain gone?_

“Hey Fenris!”

It was the next day and Fenris was taking out the trash, longing for nothing more but sweet silence. He had no clue what time it was – _probably afternoon?_ – and he felt sick, though he had gotten rid of his stomach´s contents hours ago. More than once. 

“Hawke…”, he muttered and put down the rubbish bag. 

“You look like death warmed up”, joked his neighbour and nudged him with her elbow. “Hope the party was worth it!”

“Hnn… no…”, was all Fenris got out. He rubbed his head and regretted it immediately. The nagging pain in his forehead returned. 

The woman flashed a knowing grin and Fenris was 100 percent sure this could only mean trouble. He raised his eyebrows and started the inevitable conversation. “What do you want?”  
It was Hawke´s time to mess through her black hair. “So you´ve not been online today…”

“Er, no.”

 _Funny._ The last time he had logged into any of his social media accounts had been months ago. Most likely to congratulate a friend for his birthday.

Hawke laughed and straightened her white blouse. She was working as a pilot for a private company and obviously on her way to a job. Fenris had been on a flight with her only once. That woman could land a helicopter on a nutshell. But the former soldier did not share her lust for adventure and suicidal challenges. The memory of how a looping in mid-air felt still made his stomach turn. He forced down the urge to gag. 

“You should go take a look at the pictures of that party you´ve been to! I think I spotted you sitting on a red couch a few times in the background. A lot of people are talking about it. Calling it an epic night and all!” 

Fenris gulped. He hadn´t expected anyone to take pictures. It was only logical, yet… _Kaffas!_  
“Yeah, great…”

Hawke pouted. “Don´t tell me you had no fun! I´m so jealous I missed it! Next time you need to bring me along!”

“Sure…”  
_That would at least distract that… No!_ He had sworn himself to not think about the inglorious end of the party! The irony was quite apparent, for it was all he could recall. And he wanted to especially not think about a certain person. 

_Failing already!_

Hawke waved him goodbye and left. 

“Damn…”

 

Fenris placed the laptop on his window sill. Snow and the apparatus started a purring contest, which the cat won. Fenris stroked her smooth fur and sighed. What would he see if he opened that page?  
Of course he needed to know!  
The light danced over his keyboard. With a huge sigh Fenris logged into his account.

The uploaded photos were no problem at all. Yes, indeed he could be spotted in five of them, but they showed nothing problematic, only him occupying the couch, emptying whiskey.... He pressed one hand onto his mouth.  
For a long moment he was sure he would throw up again at the mere thought of alcohol.  
Fortunately the nausea passed. 

“No more alcohol…”, he promised himself and placed his hand back on the keyboard.

No, the problem was something else. When he opened the private message that he got he almost dropped his laptop. WHAT THE FUCK?!!!

“I´m going to kill her!”, he furiously exclaimed. Snow let out a scared meow and fled.  
“Isabela you…YOU!”  
He had no words for this. 

The private message wasn´t as private as he had expected. It began with a photo, embodying all he had been afraid of when scrolling through the official photos. It showed him. And the vet. Sleeping on the couch. Together. Anders´ head resting on his bare chest. A wool sheet covering their privates. He realized that it must have been Isabela who placed the sheet on them. If nothing more, she at least had that much decency.

There were also messages below the photo. 

Isabela had added Anders and him to the conversation. How thoughtful of her. _Haha._

It started with Isabela´s caption: “You two are so cute together! <3”

Anders had commented with: “Are you serious? You´re aware that this is sexual harassment?!”

Isabela replied: “Hey, I didn´t take the picture! But I covered you with that sheet! You´re welcome!”

Anders wrote: “Delete the photo. Now!”

Isabela answered: “What´s your problem? Already deleted it from the camera and stopped its upload to other pages. Hope you´re happy now. You can thank me another time”  
Then Isabela added: “So this didn´t end well? When I left you alone I expected to see a happy ending… Pity. Thought you were so into each other… :(” 

Anders concluded: “You talked me into coming back! I can recall that much! You motivated me to speak to Fenris again, after you filled me up with that damn vodka! Isabela is this some sort of bad-taste party prank? Because if it is… Oh, damn you, would you just delete the stupid photo please?!”

Isabela had the nerves to feel insulted: “You forgot our little chat? After listening to your lamentations for one hour, yes, I did talk you into facing the man! I even bought you a few drinks to get your nerves together AND I accompanied you! You´re much more fun when you´re drunk!!!”

Anders shot back: “I´m not apologizing for anything! You did send me that picture!”

Isabela wrote: “Woah, was it that bad? I imagine waking up was no joy then… Hint: I didn´t undress you ;P” 

Fenris blushed from ear tip to ear tip. 

Had he…?  
_Certainly not!_ That just couldn´t be. 

His mind was quick to make up other possibilities. Most likely they had undressed themselves with the intention to go to bed. He had heard of other drunkards doing just that. The problem was the action somewhere did go terribly wrong and they ended up together. Or somebody else had arranged them in such an embarrassing pose? Fenris decided to reject any more thoughts about the matter as such. 

The dialogue ended with Isabela´s remark: “You´re friend hasn´t got anything to say about this? Hello Fenris, still alive? ;)”

He typed: “Delete. The. Photo.”

Then he logged out and tossed the laptop away. He needed to make a call.  
Varric certainly wouldn´t be surprised about hearing from Fenris sooner than usual. Certainly he knew about the unpleasant incident already. And certainly he had some news about the vet´s secret occupation as a journalist.


	5. Trapped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shaking Fenris got up.  
> There was a rifle. Directed at his chest. His friends were dead. He just wanted to save that little girl. One more civilian. Dropped dead on the floor. He was too late.  
> Embarrassed Fenris turned away from Varric. Tears were rolling down his cheeks.  
> “Excuse. Me.”
> 
> Fenris has a talk with Varric. The novelist´s vivid imagination accidentally turns their meeting into Fenris´ personal hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very short chapter, but it felt wrong to add anything else.  
> Warning: Protagonist suffers an intense anxiety attack. 
> 
> There will finally be some Fenders fluff in the next one! I promise!

“I hope you coped well with the hangover!”, laughed Varric and Fenris avoided his glance. 

It was Sunday evening, only two days after the party, yet the novelist had followed his pleading and dropped by after investigating something spectacular. 

_Whatever that´s supposed to mean._

“You´re looking a bit... tired.”

Fenris was very well aware of the dark rings under his eyes, his messy white hair and his general sloppy outfit.  
“Thanks, you´re looking great, too!”, he replied in a weak attempt of sarcasm. The novelist was indeed as dashing as ever. His leather shirt and blue jeans gave him a roguish appearance. 

They sat down in Fenris´ living room. The black couch was occupied by Snow and Varric, so Fenris took a chair from his kitchen. The novelist placed cards and whiskey on the table. 

Fenris shook his head in protest instantaneously. Eyeing the bottle with horror he could feel his stomach turn already.  
“No whiskey for me!”, he eagerly explained.

Varric raised a questioning eyebrow. “Are you okay?”

“Sure... I need to speak to you about the vet. Anders. And your research.”

The novelist blinked in confusion at first, then smiled and pulled out his calendar. He flipped through the pages.  
“Here! Got it!” He placed his index finger on a long entry. “Did you know Anders has not always been working as a vet?” 

Fenris crossed the arms before his chest. “No. But…”

He was immediately interrupted by the novelist. “Wait for it, ha! The most interesting part is that he currently works as an undercover journalist and investigates a dangerous medicament. It seems to be a huge conspiracy in the pharmaceutical sector.  
Even some big companies are involved! I mean what a story! A cat owner, who fortunately used to be a soldier, and a vet spy, in the web of a political scandal over some pills of doom that kill innocent people.”

“What? No way! You cannot take our lives and put them into your dirty little novels!”, hissed Fenris. 

Totally ignoring the comment, the novelist really got carried away by his wild imagination. “I can already see the story unfolding: They investigate together and after some misunderstandings notice they´re desperately drawn to each other, all resulting in a huge climax… There will be a fight with all kinds of guns, the vet is shot by a sniper, in the shoulder probably, a nasty wound, the soldier needs to see to him, blood everywhere, it doesn´t look good, but then they kiss and -”

Fenris hit his clenched fist on the table. 

It made the novelist flinch. “Ah, sorry...” Abashed he rubbed the back of his head. 

Shaking Fenris got up. 

There was a rifle. Directed at his chest. His friends were dead. He just wanted to save that little girl. One more civilian. Dropped dead on the floor. He was too late.

Embarrassed Fenris turned away from Varric. Tears were rolling down his cheeks.  
“Excuse. Me.”

He reeled into the bathroom. Shut the door with the weight of his body, because he needed to lean against the wood to stop himself from falling. 

There were screams. The smell of blood and burned flesh. The sensation of cool metal against his chest. Blood. Everywhere. And then a stinging all-consuming pain in his chest. 

Fenris managed to cower down in front of the toilet just in time and threw up.  
For several minutes he stayed there, head hanging over the toilet, his hair falling into his face, sobbing and coughing, fighting down the urge to hit his head against the bowl. He clutched the cold ceramic with his shaking hands.  
He wanted to scream. He wanted to run. He wanted to disappear. Why, oh why had he not saved that girl? 

_Kaffas, Fenris. Get up. You cannot lie here all day!_

He knew that he should get up and see to his guest, his legs however chose not to take his commands. Fenris rolled into a ball on the floor, staring unfocused at the white flagstones.

After an eternity there was a knock on the door. _Varric. Damn._

“Fenris, are you alright?”

Fenris fought down his tears and tried to answer in a neutral tone. “Y-Yes… am… fine.”  
Almost convincing. He gulped, then cleared his throat.  
“Must still be the after-effects of that party… I´ll be back in a few.”

_And another lie. Congratulations._

He could imagine Varric´s worried expression when the novelist replied: “Can I get you anything? A glass of water maybe?”

“Great”, Fenris mumbled and rolled over to lie on his back. He focused on his breathing. Slowly brought up his chest. Pulled himself up, heavily relying on the solidity of his toilet. He flushed the toilet. Got over to the washbasin.  
The man in the mirror stared back at him with anxious eyes. Angrily Fenris rubbed off the tears. Cleaned his face and his hands. 

He walked over to the door. Hesitated. He was a mess. Being aware that he couldn´t go on like this didn´t help. Frustrated he hit the wall with his right hand. It hurt. Pain. At last something he could deal with. 

_Get yourself together!_

He exhaled sharply and pushed the door open. He took a small step, then another and another.

Varric was waiting, where he had left him. 

“Sorry”, mumbled Fenris. “We were talking about Anders.”

The novelist passed him the promised glass of water. “You know I don´t want to interfere with your life, Fenris, but you should really get help. I mean it. Don´t wait too long.”

Internally screaming _“Yes, I know!!!”_ Fenris went for: “Thanks for your concern. I can handle this. I´m in control.”

A shrug and a sigh was all the response he got. 

“So… you wanted to tell me something about Anders?”, Varric asked carefully. 

“Er… The vet. Yes.”  
Fenris emptied the glass in one go. “You need to stop your investigation. Instantly! That´s why I called you.”

Repeating his conversation with the vet was impossible since he couldn´t recall it, yet he remembered something about endangering other people, which seemed to put Varric in a reasonable mood. 

“Fine. I won´t ask any more questions. Though it is a waste of a brilliant story!”  
Varric´s phone rang and he got up.  
“Just in time. I´m going out with Isabela. Guess you don´t want to… accompany us?”

“Ehm, no. I´m not feeling prepared to meet another celebrity tonight.”

The doorbell rang and Fenris winced. He really didn´t want to get the door right now. In an attempt of keeping the last bits of dignity he still had left, he straightened his back.

_Fine. This day is already fucked up. Why should I not meet Isabela…_

With a sigh he opened and was surprised to see Isabela in a honey coloured costume with a high collar. She looked more like a business woman than like the party girl he had met. Well, thinking about all the clubs she owned, she indeed was a business woman. 

“Hello Fenris”, she greeted with a wink.

“Isabela.”

“Hi, darling!” Varric waved at her. He was sitting down to get into his boots. 

The woman placed her weight on one hip. “You´re not pissed because of that photo, are you?”, she asked, her voice polite and serious. 

Fenris felt how he blushed. “Not anymore”, he played it cool. “Yet you shouldn´t have uploaded it in the first place!”

The woman nodded in approval. “Good. I would hate to be sued for this.”

_Could we please forget about it? Forever?!_

“I wouldn´t take you to court for a photo… Let´s just never speak of it again…”

Varric joined them. “What are you talking about? Which photo?”, he asked, curiosity plain on his face, but Isabela only smiled cryptically. 

She padded Fenris on the shoulder. “I´m sorry the evening didn´t work out for you. Still… If you want to pay one of my clubs a visit, you´re welcome. It was kind of funny to watch you getting drunk.”  
A wide grin was flashed at him and Fenris´ gaze dropped at his bare feet. 

“Thanks. And thanks for the blanket…”

Varric opened and closed his mouth several times, god knows what story forming in his mind. Isabela laughed. “See you Fenris!”, she chirped and took Varric´s arm to lead him away.

“Damn, Broody! You´re going to explain all of this, right?!…” The novelist glanced back over his shoulder. Despite the good mood he put on for his company, deep concern made him frown. “See you on Friday… Fenris, you can call me any time. If you want to.”

“Sure…”

Fenris closed the door behind them and rested his back against it. Then he slowly let himself sink down until he was sitting on the floor. He buried his head in his hands and dwelled on his desperation.


	6. What to do in case of rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Silence. Fenris didn´t know what to say. He just stood there pinned to the spot for some time and watched the vet sitting on the ground. He had expected Anders to act, to do something, anything really, to talk or insult Fenris, to leave, to call himself a cab, to ask if he could wait in the hallway, but the vet didn´t say a word. He just sat there in the pouring rain. 
> 
> After some days of peaceful solitude Fenris finds a drenched vet on his doorstep. He has no clue what to do.  
> The problem is he just cannot not care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally some (pre-)Fenders fluff!
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to my marvellous partner in crime, account co-author and subeditor/corrector/Anders advisor kittenmage. Because she deserves some fluff! :)
> 
> (All remaining spelling mistakes or weird grammar things are of course my fault! Blame the elf!)

Though he had programmed it into his mobile Fenris didn´t manage to ask for the bill of Snow´s vaccination.  
He gladly passed his days in solitude. 

The rain had returned and painted his flat in dark colours. The dim light made him lazy and Fenris started to read a new book. The long Earth by Terry Pratchett and Stephen Baxter. It was late evening when he decided it was time to check on his letter box. He had skipped that for three days already. 

Fenris pulled the hood of his grey pullover deep into his face as he left the flat. Outside it was cold, a strong breeze pulled at his clothes. The weather seemed to resemble his mood. Rain was falling mercilessly down on him like an icy shower.

With a swift movement he opened his letter box. The newspapers and mail of the last days dropped out of the small box and Fenris tried to catch it. 

“DAMN!”, he cursed and hurriedly started to collect the pieces of paper before they turned unreadable.

Out of the corner of his eye he suddenly noticed a movement. A figure was leaning against the house wall.  
Fenris turned, the wet newspapers already forgotten. 

“Hey!”, he directed at the person. To his surprise he recognized the man.  
“Anders? What the hell are you doing out here???”

The vet looked up at Fenris, his pale face and blue lips revealing that he must have been sitting there for some time. His blonde strands were darker than usual, water dripping from them onto Anders´ face and neck.  
“Fenris… Hi… I´m waiting for Hawke…”

Anders sneezed and Fenris rolled his eyes. _Idiot vet._ Why had he not brought an umbrella?  
In general the vet was rather unprepared for the autumn weather. His beige T-Shirt and blue cotton jacket were not exactly a cool weather outfit, let alone the chucks on his feet. 

“Have you tried the bell?”, Fenris asked, trying to make a joke and failing. 

“Yes...”, not even managing a sharp comment in return the vet seemed quite desperate. “And I have called her. Do you know when she will return?”

Fenris shook his head. “No. Haven´t seen her for a while now. She probably is on a mission for a few days.”

A whimper escaped the vet and he covered his face with both hands. “Damn…”

Silence. Fenris didn´t know what to say. He just stood there pinned to the spot for some time and watched the vet sitting on the ground. He had expected Anders to act, to do something, anything really, to talk or insult Fenris, to leave, to call himself a cab, to ask if he could wait in the hallway, but the vet didn´t say a word. He just sat there in the pouring rain. 

Fenris shuddered. It indeed was cold. The water was slowly sopping his pullover and the T-Shirt underneath. The vet must have been drenched to the bones by now. 

Fenris coughed. “Er… It´s raining.”  
He got no response. 

Annoyed he knelt down beside Anders.  
“I´m talking to you!”

No reaction. Then a mumble. “I know… Just ignore me… You must be getting wet. Go back in.”

Furious Fenris got up again, turned on his heels and entered the building, slamming the door shut behind him. It actually hurt that the vet was expecting Fenris to be such an ignorant prick. 

_I would never leave someone out in the rain!_

Fenirs unlocked the door to his flat and rushed in. He threw the newspapers on the huge window sill in his living room, then he picked up two towels from the bathroom. He placed them on the side table next to the entrance door. Then he hurried out again. 

_Hopefully Anders hasn´t decided to leave!_

Outside the vet was still sitting on the ground, looking even more miserable than before, his head resting on his knees and buried under his arms. 

_Is he crying?_

Fenris had no clue how to comfort someone properly. Or at least he considered himself to be really bad at it. _Come on! Please don´t cry!_

“Hey!”, Fenris said, his strained voice revealing he was on edge. The vet didn´t react.  
“You want to sit here all day and pity yourself or you want to come in?”

Pissed Fenris dashed at Anders´ side and raised the startled man back on his feet with one strong pull.  
_The vet is too light for his size!_

Said man gave him a puzzled look. “You will have me… in your flat?”

“No, I will watch you freezing from inside. Idiot! Of course you can come in. Why are you sitting here anyway?!”

“…Thank you…”

 _Are there tears in Ander´s eyes?_ Fenris hastily led them through the hallway. They left a trail of water on the floor.  
_Need to dry that up later…_

“Here we are”, introduced Fenris. It felt weird to invite someone in. Especially the vet.  
He pushed the door open and immediately passed Anders the towels. 

“Eh…”

They both looked at the vet´s clothes. Water was dripping from them, forming a puddle on the floor around the vet´s chucks.  
Nervously Fenris brushed through his hair. “This makes no sense… I´ll get you a bucket for your wet clothes.”  
He mustered the vet and nodded. “Might have something that fits you… I´ll be right back.”

_Do I still have that loose-fitting jogging pants? Need a warm pullover… And a blanket maybe… Damn, what about socks???_

 

Anders was lucky. The dark blue jogging pants were almost long enough for him and the woollen socks did have the necessary length too. The T-Shirt and pullover were a bit short but not too tight against Anders´ chest. 

The water kettle beeped.  
Fenris flinched at the sudden noise. 

_So the vet is in my flat. Kaffas! What do I do now???_

He filled their mugs. When he returned to his living room – he had placed Anders on the couch with a blanket for he was shaking – Snow was already tending to their surprise guest. The cat cuddled into the vet as if her life was depending on it. An involuntary smile crept onto Fenris´ face. 

“Want some tea?”, he asked rhetorically and handed Anders the mug. 

The vet looked up and this time his brown eyes were filled with a shine that Fenris had never seen before.  
“Thanks! You don´t know how much this means to me! Just... thank you.”

Thoughtful Fenris took a sip of his tea. _Anders must really be in trouble._

“How long have you been sitting outside?”, Fenris asked to get the conversation going before it could end in an awkward silence. 

Anders laughed a bitter laugh. “I honestly don´t know…”  
His hands were clinging to the hot mug, the rims of his nails still blue from the cold.  
“You must think I am stupid for waiting outside!”, exclaimed the vet, a slight blush on his cheeks.

Fenris shrugged. He didn´t dare to ask why Anders hadn´t knocked at his door.  
“So… You wanted to see Hawke? Why? And why didn´t you bring an umbrella?”

Within a second Anders was shutting himself off to Fenris again. His gaze lowered and he grimly stared at the table. “I was in a hurry.”

_Damn._

Fenris took another try. “Is this about your… investigation?” He tried to interpret Anders´ dark expression but had no clue whether he was right or wrong.  
“I spoke to Varric”, Fenris added. “He promised to stop his research.”

They sat in silence for some time, Snow´s purring the only sound. Fenris felt very uncomfortable and wanted to say something. He just couldn´t think of anything else. He found it crucial to understand why the vet had come here in the middle of a storm. 

Finally Anders started to talk. At first Fenris was relieved. 

“I couldn´t think straight when I left the clinic, simply forgot to bring an umbrella… Typical me.”  
The vet laughed, but it sounded sad.  
“I don´t know why I´m even telling you this… Hawke has offered me a place on her couch whenever I might need it. That´s why I came here.”

From this moment on Fenris was no longer relieved. _So the vet is sleeping at Hawke´s place... Why give a damn?_  
Fenris couldn´t quite place the tense feeling in his chest. It was confusingly distracting. 

“But Hawke wasn´t home…”, continued Anders. His mug was empty, but he kept it in his hands for the warmth. “I would have left… only… I have nowhere else to go. I mean, it´s not safe at any hotel. And think of the prices! Ha! No… And since I don´t want to endanger any of my other few friends…”  
Anders bit his lip. “Sorry! Didn´t mean to… That came out wrong. I will leave! Don´t want to endanger you either!”

His heart sinking Fenris got up. “Stay.”

He left Anders and busied himself with the search of a hot-water bottle.

Hearing the other man approach long before he arrived in his bed room, Fenris had enough time to close the wardrobe and meet Anders in the corridor. He had found what he had been looking for anyway.

Anders had draped the blanket around him like a cape and eyed the hot-water bottle with astonishment. “Fenris? Listen…”

“No! Now you listen.”  
Infuriated Fenris made eye contact with the vet. “Whatever you might think of me… I am not an asshole!”  
He had wanted to say something else in the first place… _Great Fenris! Good to point that out for once._

Anders raised one of his brows. “Er… I´m glad we have settled that matter.”

Frustrated Fenris let out a growl. “Will get some more hot water.”

Ignoring the vet he rushed back into the kitchen to fill the hot-water bottle.  
_Irritating vet!_

 

Back in his living room Anders had sat down again. Snow was on his lap and stretched lazily.  
Her black and white fur was messy from the stroking. 

“Here. You must still be cold.”

Fenris handed over the hot-water bottle. Their fingers touched during the process and Fenris felt his cheeks reddening. 

With a happy sigh Anders took the bottle and placed it on his stomach. His hands kept holding it tightly.  
“Ah, that feels good! Thanks!”

The weather outside had not changed. Dark clouds filled the sky, rain was falling heavily. Fenris wasn´t sure how long Anders intended to stay. If Hawke had been on a mission she wouldn´t be back any time soon. She was an adventurous person but no fool. Flying through a storm was suicidal. 

_Seems he is my problem now._

Fenris sat down in his chair and absent-mindedly started to play with his mug.  
“Why can´t you return to your clinic?”, he asked bluntly, since the silence was getting on his nerves.

All colour draining from his face Anders gulped. “I… I told you, I can leave if you want me to!”

“No!” Fenris clenched his fists. “I don´t want you gone.”  
He stared at the vet for some time, then added: “I´m trying to understand you!”

It seemed to be the right comment for Anders only blinked and said: “Oh.”

Mustering all his composure Fenris relaxed a bit. “Would you tell me? Please?”

A few unnerving moments passed, before Anders finally confirmed what Fenris had expected all the time.  
“I can´t go back… They found me. At the clinic.” 

The temperature of the room seemed to fall below zero and Fenris shuddered. He didn´t want to hear any of it, still he needed to. 

Anders was focusing on Snow. The corners of his mouth twitched as he continued to speak.  
“Meredith has sent some smart thugs this time. I could barely escape through the sewers…”

The vet was sobbing all at once and Fenris was entirely paralysed. 

“A-at least I could save the results of my research… But…”  
The vet trailed off, unable to go on.

Snow woke from the sudden shaking movements and left Anders with a vexed look. 

_Crying vet. In my living room. What shall I do???!_  
Fenris was helpless. He wasn´t used to comfort someone. _Shall I pad him on the shoulder???_

Anders tried to rub off his tears. “Damn! Sorry!”

 

 _Kneejerk reaction._  
That´s what Fenris called it later on.  
He just couldn´t handle crying people. That was how he explained his actions to himself. 

 

Dumbstruck he observed how his body got up and sat down beside Anders on the couch.  
The sobbing got worse. Fenris placed one hand on the vet´s back. 

“You can stay here as long as Hawke is gone”, whispered Fenris and gently rubbed over Anders´ back. “I don´t mind.”

The vet threw a shy glance at Fenris. His eyes and nose were red from crying. 

“Just… don´t cry…”, pleaded Fenris. 

Suddenly Anders flung his arms around Fenris´ neck and pressed into him. 

Fenris was utterly flabbergasted. Every muscle in his body tensed. The vet didn´t notice or care.  
There was that familiar scent of herbs. Anders´ hair tickled the skin on Fenris´ neck. 

_So close… Venhedis!_

Fenris was sure the vet had lost it. _He doesn´t even like me!_  
On the other hand… Anders was no soldier, yet he had been exposed to a probably life threatening situation without any training he could rely on. Fenris caught himself pitying the vet.

“Kaffas…”

Usually he kept his distance. Usually he ignored his feelings because usually they meant nightmares and uncontrollable anxiety. Usually closeness and touching were uncomfortable for Fenris. 

Only being there on the couch with the vet… _Anders_... was different. 

Fenris felt his defences crumble.  
Finally he overcame his fear and let down his guard.  
He pulled Anders in a tight hug and wrapped his arms around him.


	7. Blundering breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenris stowed away the groceries and set the table in the living room. The weird feeling returned.  
> So he was having breakfast with Anders…
> 
> (by glowelf)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing and editing this chapter took me quite a while, sorry! 
> 
> Fenris and Anders are slowly approaching the "I don´t hate you" phase *rejoice*  
> Wanted to get the still present tension, confusion and kind of caring behaviour right, which wasn´t easy. 
> 
> Hope you like it ;)

It had been a weird evening. 

Especially the moment after finally letting Anders go. _Probably the highlight of the evening. Haha._  
Anders had looked so vulnerable. 

_And I didn´t know what to say. Idiot._

Fenris bit his lower lip. He felt himself blush at the memory alone. Embarrassed he covered his face with his hands. _What the hell is wrong with me?_ , he asked himself once again.  
Yes, the moment after finally letting Anders go had been the worst, yet the weirdness had continued until Fenris and the vet had said their good nights, hastily departed and retreated into the bed / living room. 

_So Anders is sleeping on my couch now. What a strange situation..._

He had no idea what to do next. Would Anders´ clinic be safe somewhen or would he need to deal with the thugs first? Why wouldn´t the vet ask the police for help?  
Lazily Fenris turned over – he was still in bed – and hid his head under the cushion. Later on he would have to confront Anders with all these questions. _But first: Breakfast!_

He was hungry, yet Fenris groaned at the thought of leaving his cosy bed. His nightmares had gotten particularly nasty after the incident with Varric, which meant he slept even less than usual and he didn´t cope well with the mornings afterwards. 

_Well, I could have gotten up at 4.45…_ But with his living room blocked – _I shouldn´t wake Anders_ – he had stayed exactly where he was. Until now. 

He rolled over and got up. After dressing and brushing his hair Fenris sneaked into his living room, which was the only access to his kitchen. His bare feet made no sound on the floor.  
Surprisingly the vet was up already. He had been examining the books in the shelf and smiled coyly when he realized that Fenris was watching him. His blonde hair was messy from sleeping, yet the slender man looked good in the borrowed short T-Shirt.  
With the tiniest of smirks Fenris took in that his former dark blue jogging pants were covered with white hair, which led him to the conclusion that Snow had found herself a new admirer. 

“Morning”, greeted Fenris and scuffled into the kitchen. 

“Good morning!”, replied the vet. He followed Fenris. “I would have made some breakfast, but I didn´t dare to mess up your kitchen…”

Snow entered the already crowded room and started to rub her head against Fenris´ legs. His tired mind could focus on a single task only.  
“Come here, darling, I´ll get you some food”, Fenris purred. To Anders he said: “Just open the fridge and take what you like. Toast and cereals are in the cupboard to your left.” 

Snow´s food box was empty and Fenris had to leave the kitchen to get some more out of his small storage room. When he came back a few minutes later – it took him some time to find the bloody cat food hidden behind a striking multitude of wine bottles – the vet awaited him with a slightly desperate expression. 

“I can´t find any toast… Your milk has gone stale by the way. And you should probably buy a new butter, too. But there are some cereals…”

 _Wait! What?_

Fenris blushed from head to toe and turned away to hide it from his guest.  
“Oh.”  
He should have bought new food three days ago. He just hadn´t considered himself to be capable of doing so. And it would have been unnecessary, if he hadn´t been visited by the vet… 

An intriguing scent distracted Fenris from the food problem. 

“Is that… Did you make coffee?”, he stammered. 

The vet flashed a wide grin.  
“Here you go!” Anders handed him a mug with steaming black marvelousness. 

Gratefully Fenris took a sip, ignoring the burning in his throat. “Thanks.”

“No need to thank me. I´m only offering you your own coffee”, the vet said and winked. “At least I could find the coffee machine.”  
He sat down on one of the two chairs next to the small kitchen table and quietly filled his mug with hot water. With total bewilderment Fenris noticed that the vet was having tea. 

_Did he make coffee for me?_

“Thank you anyway!”, Fenris mumbled and handed Anders his tea box, which was filled with bags in all kinds of flavours. Instead of figuring out why his guest had assumed he would prefer coffee today, Fenris tried to focus on the task ahead. Searching for something eatable.  
“Do you want some cereals?”, he asked. 

“Without any milk?” 

_Did Anders just smile AND pout?_

Fenris sighed in despair. “I´m sorry. I didn´t expect any visitors…” 

Suddenly there was a loud noise to be heard. Anders´ stomach demanded some proper breakfast.  
Embarrassed the vet slung his arms around his belly. “Eh, sorry! I´ll be fine with the cereals!”

Fenris threw the vet a calculating glance. It was still early. There was a whole day ahead and Fenris expected Anders to abide with him at least until afternoon. Getting some food was inevitable. 

“Do you mind if I do some shopping?”

The vet looked up with a worried expression. “Could I… I don´t want to sound presumptuous, but could I maybe stay here? I´m aware we don´t know each other yet… If you don´t trust me I could wait outside in the hallway until you´re back…”

Confused Fenris rubbed his head. He wasn´t comfortable with the thought to leave Anders alone in his flat. _Why would he want to stay anyway?_ , Fenris wondered. _Probably he is afraid to go out? Guess he doesn´t want to be seen in the city…_  
“Will you behave yourself? Don´t blow up the house. Don´t rob my flat. Look after Snow. You know how it works”, said Fenris. Since Anders didn´t look convinced – well Fenris wasn´t convinced if this was a good idea either – he added: “If you do want to steal my stuff, I suggest you start with the couch.”

Another bad attempt of making a joke. _I should leave it be…_

“Great! I´ll do just that!”, replied the vet with a lopsided smile. 

Fenris wasn´t sure to what Anders was referring exactly, but he tried not to worry.  
“I´ll be right back!”, he said. Then he hesitated. “You might want your clothes back... I put them in the bathroom yesterday. Guess they´re dry now.”

 

Half an hour later Fenris hurriedly returned, carrying three bags with all kinds of things. He had put some thought into lunch and supper. He had been to the bakery. He had bought milk and marmalade and more tea. Fenris even had remembered to get an additional toothbrush just in case. Hawke certainly had one in her flat… 

_Damn!_  
He had forgotten the butter! _Nevermind._ There was spread cheese, ham and more cheese… _That will do._

“I´m back”, Fenris announced when he entered his flat. He hoped everything was still where it ought to be. 

“Hi!”, came the immediate reply and Anders appeared in the door frame. He had his own clothes back on again. “Let me help you with the bags!”

Fenris was more than relieved to see the vet.  
“Er, I´m fine. Just sit down. We can have breakfast in a minute.”  
Fenris stowed away the groceries and set the table in the living room. The weird feeling returned. So he was having breakfast with Anders… 

 

“That looks marvellous!”

Anders took a slice of toast, some ham and cheese, while Fenris went for a marmalade toast. 

Fenris was too distracted to eat much anyway. After a short glaring contest with his cat, Snow climbed onto her throne on top of the bookshelf and kept an eye on them from there. Fenris had resisted her huge eyes this time, if only just. _No human food for you today, sorry sweety._

He was halfway through his toast, when Anders had finished with his first plate and hesitantly went for more. Again he helped himself to a single slice of toast. As their gazes met, the vet flinched and lost the piece of cheese he had just impaled. 

_Anders looks… caught…_

Instead of placing the cheese on his plate, his attention turned to the already ham covered toast and he took a small bite. The vet´s stomach rumbled in response. 

“You seem to be very hungry…”, remarked Fenris. 

“Er, no, not at all…” 

Fenris shoved the plate with the cheese over to Anders. “Take as much as you want.”

“Thanks. Sometimes I forget to eat…”, the vet explained, still chewing. 

A few moments later Fenris witnessed how Anders wolfed down a huge piece of ham. Well, he wasn´t entirely sure… He had only seen it out of the corner of his eye. If he didn´t know better, he would have to assume the plates on the table were emptying themselves by magic. 

Outside it had started to rain again. The sky was darkened by grey clouds and the windows were covered with constantly moving patterns by the falling drops.  
The two men sat in silence, the munching and clattering of crockery and cutlery the only sounds to be heard. Anders was busy with scoffing his breakfast – the cheese was almost gone by now – and Fenris didn´t know how to start a conversation. 

“So you like cheese…”, he tried in a lame attempt. 

“Hmmnh!”

“Very eloquent”, replied Fenris. It took him a moment to realize he was chuckling.  
He was rewarded with a grin that could easily compete with sun shine on a bright summer day. Confused about Anders´ reaction and the effect that grin apparently had on his tummy Fenris raised his brows. 

_There. Are. No. Butterflies. I´m really being stupid lately…_

The vet put down his – _fourth?_ – toast, honey dripping over his hand and plate. “I´m glad to see you can actually smile. It suits you.”

If there existed a good reply to Anders´ comment it hid from Fenris quite efficiently.  
“Ahem…”

“And yes, I love cheese. You picked one of my favourite types. I mean, how can anyone resist mature cheddar?”  
Anders finished his toast and licked the honey off his fingers.

Baffled Fenris grabbed the next thing within his reach – a tomato – and shoved it into his mouth to skip his answer. The vet laughed. 

“Right. Cheese is off the table. You´re no use in that discussion. What about books?”

“Care to elaborate?” Although it wasn´t his intention, Fenris´ question sounded brusque. 

“Oh, don´t mind me... I´m just trying to make conversation with a man who tends to hate me, but declared himself – and I quote – `not an asshole´.”

_That was a joke, wasn´t it…?_

If the vet wasn´t looking so disturbingly nervous, Fenris would have laughed at the remark. Instead he kept quiet, which seemed to upset Anders even more: “This confusing man has picked me up off the street and offers his help and home, though he has yelled at me practically every time we´ve met, except the first time, in which he refused to pay me and stormed out of my clinic…”

_The bloody vaccination bill!_

Fenris couldn´t help himself. “I intended to pay you!”, he defended himself, “And it was you who told me to keep my money when we ran into each other in that bar!”

There was a tense pause, in which the vet fidgeted with his mug. Then he said: “Am babbling… After all that bickering… I don´t understand why you´ve invited me in. Why are you being so nice to me? I´m afraid you will throw me out any second...” 

Dumbstruck Fenris shrugged.  
“No one deserves to be left alone in the pouring rain. And as I´ve said before, you can stay.”

_And I don´t hate you…_

The silence stretched and Fenris was happy when Anders spoke up again. “That is no explanation at all, but thank you. I mean it.” He sighed. “I really need to stay away from the clinic for a few days…”  
At first it sounded as if the vet wanted to add something else, but then he changed his mind. 

“We will find a solution”, offered Fenris. 

Snow meowed and returned to them. She jumped onto the couch and tried to bribe Anders to share his food by using a cuddle attack.  
The vet stayed determined. He gently stroked the fur behind her ears but kept the rest of the cheese to himself. _Cute..._

Thoughtfully Anders cocked his head. “Back then at my clinic… You didn´t rush out because of your cat or me, did you? Would you tell me why you left so hastily?”

Fenris almost choked on his coffee. 

He put the mug down immediately, using more force than necessary, and spilled some drops.  
_No! I certainly won´t tell you that you triggered a particularly nasty flashback and I ran like a coward!_  
Unable to put on his poker face or come up with a lie Fenris replied: “I remembered… things.”

The vet gave him a puzzled look. “Something urgent?”

Every muscle in Fenris´ body had tensed up by now, ready to fight or flee. He simply stared at Anders. He couldn´t bear revealing the truth about his trauma. But Fenris wanted to be understood, too.  
He felt obliged to say something. If only to show the vet, that he wasn´t a jerk who had ran away to avoid getting a bill. If only to show the vet, that he was not stupid enough to assume that he would get away with such a technique… _Which I actually have…_

“It´s complicated…” 

The vet raised his eyebrows. Fenris sighed and lowered his gaze at his hands.

“I didn´t plan to leave at once or avoid getting the bill! After remembering those things I… I just couldn´t stay.”  
_That´s it. No more confessing. I don´t owe Anders anymore explanations!_

The vet simply nodded, his expression unreadable. 

“Look”, tried Fenris, “I hate to be in your debt and I´m still willing to pay that vaccination.”  
He was feeling on edge and insecure about his mind´s condition. _What if I get another flashback now? I need to stop thinking about that day! Distraction. Need to talk about something else._

Surprisingly Anders did not continue his questions. He seemed to register Fenris´ tension and moved on to another subject just like that. “Can I help you with the dishes?”

“Pardon?”

“Eh, putting all that food back in the fridge, washing the dishes…”

_Moving to safer grounds. Good!_

“Sure.”


	8. Loch Ness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anders finally reveals why he is threatened by thugs and Fenris tries to be supportive.   
> With their differences being settled (at least for now) the afternoon turns out to be a lot of unexpected fun, until Fenris´ door bell rings...

After breakfast things finally started to go smoother. Fenris was accustoming himself to being around someone else than Snow. Anders eased up a bit, once Fenris had handed him the new toothbrush. The act seemed to function as some nonverbal code for “Yes, you can stay. I really do mean it. No, I won´t change my mind any time soon”. 

A purse, a mobile phone, an USB stick and his keys were all the items Anders had taken with him. Fenris had handed him the notebook, to check if the USB stick was still working and the vet took his offer gratefully. It actually did and Anders was very happy about it. 

_Anders´ research could have been destroyed so easily… He needs to be more careful! I bet he had no time to upload all data to a cloud system. Or are they too sensitive to give away?_

They needed to talk about what would happen next. Fenris initiated the uncomfortable subject and was surprised when Anders indeed started to open up.  
“Though I don´t mind to have you here, somewhen you need to return to your home…”, started Fenris. “But only if it´s safe to go there of course! Do you think those thugs are still watching your clinic?”

“Those thugs were sent by Meredith. And yes, unfortunately I´m quite sure they are still around… Meredith, she´s the head of that big pharma company I´ve been… keeping an eye on”, explained the vet.

“The one you´ve been spying on, you mean.”

Anders lowered his gaze for a second as if to avoid Fenris´ judgement, but immediately corrected: “I did what was necessary.”  
Fenris shrugged. 

“Right… You should hear the whole story”, said Anders. “Are you ready?”

“I guess…”, replied Fenris uncertainly. 

The vet was wearing a stern expression. “What I am going to tell you must never leave the room. It is a secret people´s lives depend on. I will not reveal the name of the company, but still… Promise me to keep this secret.”

“I promise”, mumbled Fenris. 

Anders nodded. “Good. I don´t want to bother you with the details… Um, let´s just say a research group of said company has developed some dangerous harmful substance.”

“Some dangerous harmful substance?”, Fenris raised both brows. 

“Yes… It´s er… a neurotoxin. Quite effective and relatively cheap to produce. The whole project started with the analysis of a research on insecticides… Why they did that is still a mystery to me! Their aim whatsoever was to improve the understanding of nerve diseases and find a new approach of their treatment.”

The former soldier nodded. He had heard about the negative side effects of some insecticides on humans. 

“Meredith wants to sell it to the highest bidder… Regardless of the consequences! And, er, rumours have it that the military is one of the interested parties.”  
Fenris flinched at the word. The military. The vet had said it with disdain in his voice and it felt like a stab. 

“If the formula of the substance is sold it could easily be turned into… something bad. Really bad.”

“A new weapon”, concluded Fenris. The military research was mostly about weapons.   
_No surprise here._

Anders fidgeted with his sleeve. “Eh yes… Exactly. It doesn´t really matter who gets his hands on it, the outcome will be disastrous.”  
Suddenly the vet clenched his fists. “Fortunately the scientists who invented the substance did realize what they had done. They´re no bad people after all! A friend of mine could convince them to turn against Meredith. They intended to steal the research results. But someone must have betrayed them… One day a scientist died in an accident.” The vet stressed his last word to point out he did not buy this version of the story. His face had transformed into a mask of icy rage. Fenris shuddered. “Meredith forced everyone to cover up the so called tragic incident… And now everyone is afraid… No one will speak up against that bitch…” 

“You want to prove all of that and cause a scandal, which will support the scientists? They might make the formula and their results disappear.”

“Exactly. Or, if things turn out even better, I can prevent Meredith from being able to sell the formula at all. If the substance would be presented in a very bad light maybe no one wants to buy it anymore.”

“That´s an ambitious plan for someone sleeping on a borrowed couch… So… What´s your next move? Will you ask the police for help? Will you leave the city???”

The vet sighed. “I can´t go to the police, they can do nothing for me and it´s bad enough I have involved you, too. And I´m not going to run!” He hesitated. “And I need to make a few calls… Should have done that already…”

Fenris wanted to object, but he didn´t know what to say exactly.   
The police is your friend and helper? They are going to protect you? The military wouldn´t do such a bad thing? _Screw that nonsense. Anders knows what he is doing. I guess…_

“Do you need a phone or is your mobile working?”, Fenris asked bluntly. The former soldier wished to stay out of any fights, so this was all he could offer to support the vet.

With an unreadable expression Anders sighed. “Mine is still working, thanks. I… er… should probably make that calls. Now.”  
And with that the vet left the room. 

 

***

 

Anders had been on the phone for almost an hour, but things seemed to be settled when he returned. Hawke had sent a short text, informing him that she would be back home the next day and the vet seemed positively content that he could move in with her as soon as she was back. Fenris didn´t comment on this. 

Since a lot of subjects appeared to be unsuitable for their conversation, Fenris finally suggested to watch a movie. Though Netflix provided them with a lot of things, it took them some time to find a movie to their liking. 

Usually Fenris would have picked something from the action genre, but he didn´t want to push his luck with those haunting memories of his. At least not with someone around.   
Plus Fenris didn´t know how Anders would react to certain topics – violence, spies, suppressed freedom of speech and so on – so those were off the table.   
After his breakdown the other night Anders was really pulling himself together. Fenris marvelled at that. And he didn´t want to destroy the vet´s efforts.   
Since Fenris on the other hand had no compassion for comedy or drama or teeny movies it wasn´t easy. 

Nevertheless the two men spent their afternoon on the couch, watching a documentary about Loch Ness. 

_How we ended up with this is beyond me…_

It actually was a lot of unexpected fun.   
After they had sat silently through the first two minutes, Anders had suddenly started to talk and with Fenris´ comments encouraging him the vet never stopped. 

“The reporter is going to explore the lake in a suit?”, Anders said in total bewilderment. “I bet he had to change his shoes and socks every five minutes… ”

“Sure. He has done a lot of documentaries, but I think he would be a great comedian, too”, replied Fenris with a small smile. “For a jerk he is quite famous.”  
Anders laughed at the remark and Fenris´ smile widened. 

_Weird. We´re hanging out in my living room watching a documentary. Seriously…_

They soon found more and more things to comment on. It was like a game and neither Anders nor Fenris wanted to stop. 

“Perhaps the missing boats did sink and weren´t found beneath all those algae!”, exclaimed Anders after the obnoxious reported had found some dubious evidence for the cruel nature of the monster living in the lake. “See, the monster simply wants to be left alone!”

“You might be right. What if someone increased the growth of algae on purpose, to hide the boats and attract tourists with those scary tales?”

“But then the monster would have to live in a messy home…”, objected Anders with a pout.

Anders came up with all kinds of weird theories and Fenris joined him. It was easy for Fenris to tag along. He was feeling weird but… happy. _It is nice to have someone to talk to._

In the end there was a sequence in which the reporter was eaten by the monster. 

“No! We need to get that reporter back!”, declared Anders, suddenly jumping up and putting on a determined expression. “Who´s going to do the next hilarious documentary if no one rescues that idiot from the monster? Oh damn, Fenris, we need to find him!”

At that Fenris started laughing. The vet turned, he was wearing a soft smile, and simply watched the other man guffawing. 

_This is absurd._

Fenris couldn´t help it, he was shaking with laugher and couldn´t stop.   
“Great.. idea”, the former soldier got out after some time, and rubbed the corners of his eyes. “Would you like some dinner before we leave?”  
Anders nodded, still smiling. 

 

The vet insisted to help with the dinner and Fenris didn´t mind. It was strange to share the small kitchen with somebody else, though their teamwork was quite good. Anders proofed to be a brilliant cook. Fenris had grown used to simple recipes, since he wouldn´t prepare too elaborate things for himself alone. Now he wondered, if he should invest more time in cooking in the future. 

They were almost done – Fenris had suggested to make a vegetable curry with rice – when the doorbell rang. Anders, who was tending to the vegetables, went pale as a sheet.   
“Are you expecting any visitors?”, he asked and threw a nervous glance to the door. 

“Er, no…”, Fenris mind reeled. “I´ll go and see who it is. Perhaps Hawke has returned early?”

“I… didn´t tell Hawke I was here….”, whispered the vet and Fenris raised a brow. 

“Oh.”

_Who might that be?_

Preparing for whatever there might come, Fenris answered the door. He opened and gasped in shock, as he recognised the man in front of him.   
“Hi Fenris!” 

Anders who must have heard his gasp came spurting to the door. “Who is it?!”, he asked, utterly nervous. 

“Varric…”, was all Fenris managed, before the novelist entered his flat with the naturalness only old friends can call their own and saw the vet. 

“Oh, you have another guest!”  
Varric offered Anders his hand. “Hi! Nice to meet you in person at last!”

Relieved, yet confused, the vet shook Varric´s hand. “Er, yes. Sure. Would have been nice to meet you at Isabela´s party. I´ve been searching for you actually.”

With a disarming smile the novelist shrugged. “That was about my little research on you right? I´m really sorry that it did cause you some trouble. After Fenris had informed me, I did all I could to keep your friends save!”

“WHAT?”, yelled Anders and Fenris in unison and utter shock. 

“I do know a lot of people… Placing a few rumours here and there, making a photo disappear in the right moment… Piece of cake!”

Fenris watched the vet´s mouth opening and closing a few times, before his eyes lit up and he thanked Varric.   
“I´ll… dinner… be right back”, stuttered Fenris and fled into the kitchen.   
So Varric and Anders were hypothetically getting along now.   
_This is good… right? This is a catastrophe!_

 

When Fenris returned with their dinner, vet and novelist had engaged into a heated discussion about the series `Shadowhunters´.   
“I don´t want to know how you´ve got there and I won´t settle that debate for you!”, Fenris declared immediately as he put down the steaming food.   
Both men grinned up at him and Fenris had some difficulties to ignore them. 

“Anders told me how he ended up here”, Varric said and changed the subject with all subtlety he could muster. 

“So?”, asked Fenris.

_Hopefully this isn´t going to end up in his latest novel._  
Knowing Varric, one could bet it would. 

It was a mixture of fondness and worry that crossed Varric´s face, when he threw a meaningful look at him. “I just wanted to make sure you are ok with the… situation. A lot of people stay at my place all the time, but having as little space as you do, it must be way harder to coordinate, sharing a bathroom and so on.”

“I… we are fine at the moment. Thanks”, retouched Fenris only a little brusque. He wondered whether the novelist was referring to their last, rather disastrous meeting or if he simply was fuzzing over Fenris. Either way it was a subject the former soldier didn´t want to engage any further. 

Varric´s eyes were darting from Fenris to Anders and back. He pondered over Fenris´ reply for some time, then he suddenly nodded, a wide and content smile on his face. 

“And, eh, Hawke will be back tomorrow anyway… so I can move in with her”, added Anders, his gaze pinned to his hands, which was no relief to the former soldier. 

The novelist seemed to sense as much. “Oh”, he simply said and dug into the rice on his plate. “Since the two of you seem indeed to get along very well, you could of course stay with Fenris”, he offered and Fenris´ heart skipped a beat. 

_What?_

The vet raised a questioning eyebrow at that comment and so did Fenris.

“The lad is a generous host, if you haven´t noticed yet. And he could use someone to tend to his eating habits. You should definitely cook more often”, babbled Varric in his typical chatty tone. “The curry is marvellous!”

Swallowing down any defensive reply, which wouldn´t work with the sharp-tongued novelist anyway, Fenris said: “We did that together.”  
On second thoughts his comment didn´t improve things or reduced the awkwardness of the situation to any degree. But the food was a bloody miracle. Fenris shoved another fork into his mouth. It tasted really good.

Completely unbothered by Varric´s implications, the vet smiled. “Cooking together was fun, but you did miss the best part Varric. We watched one of those hilarious documentary this afternoon.”

The novelist´s eyes started to burn with blatant curiosity. “You need to tell me all about it!” 

_Is it only me, or is this a catastrophe? If Varric pulls out his calendar I´m going to punch him. That´s only fair._

After Anders´ lively summary of their afternoon, the novelist smirked. “And I expected Broody here to be a sappy romantic. I guess having a passionate fight over how the reporter is going to end his miserable life was refreshing after you´ve apparently settled all your former differences?”

Fenris almost choked on the water he had been drinking just now. 

“Pardon?!”

Instead of defending him or denying anything, Anders laughed. “Sure thing. It was the best afternoon I had in a long time! And we were seeing eye to eye this time.”  
The glance he blessed Fenris with made him blush from ear tip to ear tip.   
Fortunately Varric came to his rescue and asked if their game night was still on. 

Soon the three of them had stuffed themselves with the delicious curry, leaving not a single grain of rice over. As every Friday Varric placed his cards and a bottle of whiskey on the table in front of the couch and they started an exciting round of poker, which was even more fun than usual.


	9. Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After his unexpected guest has left, Fenris realises he might... like the "idiot vet". Perhaps even more than he wants to admit. And perhaps even more than is good for him. But what about Anders? 
> 
>  
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains unhealthy coping behaviour. Don´t read, if this triggers any bad emotions or memories!  
> (Need to thank my co-author kittenmage for reminding me to put that here. Future chapters might contain more warnings of other kinds *wiggles eyebrows* You have been warned ;P )

 

“So…”, Anders fidgeted with his mobile, while staring at his shoes, which seemed to be very interesting at the moment. “Thanks for… um… thanks for having me… And thanks for all the food!

I think you need to go shopping again soon. Emptied your fridge quite efficiently…”

 

The vet still didn´t look up. Fenris was leaning against the door frame, feeling too paralysed to respond to Anders´ babbling. It was the next morning and Hawke had just called. She was home now. 

 

_Anders is leaving…_

 

“Oh, I can give you some money if you like! Eh, later… As soon as I´m back at the clinic… Just tell me how much I owe you… And don´t forget to buy some butter.”

 

“Never mind”, replied Fenris and forced a smile that the vet didn´t see, since he still examined his bloody chucks. “You don´t owe me anything. I had a great time with you being around.”

Finally the vet looked up. The smile on his face was happy and sad. “Yeah, me too. And you totally saved my ass.”

The former soldier shrugged. “You´re welcome.”

 

“Thanks…” Anders checked the pockets of his trousers. He had only brought a few items in the first place and had all of them on him already.

“I guess that´s it then… Time to go and see Hawke… Will be next doors, if you want another weird day with the crazy vet.”

“Sure”, said Fenris, but they both knew he wouldn´t suddenly appear on Hawke´s doorstep just to pay a visit.

 

The vet stepped forward and pulled Fenris in a tight hug. “Thanks once more. Thank you so much Fenris”, he mumbled into his ear.

The former soldier blinked, then hesitantly wrapped his arms around Anders. “You´re very welcome”, he whispered. Blonde hair strands tickled his face as Anders released him. The vet waved and was gone.

 

Frozen to the spot Fenris stared at the empty hallway for a few moments, before he turned and shut the door to his flat behind him.

_Alone again._

 

 

***

 

 

Two months later.

Life had changed. Enormously. And all it took were two nights and a sobbing vet on his couch. Fenris held Varric and his blasted enthusiasm responsible. 

 

The week after the incident, as Fenris secretly called it, the novelist carefully asked him, if he´d like to invite Anders again for their game night. It was a Monday, which Fenris hated, so he was in a grumpy mood right from the start. They were on the phone and an uncomfortable silence stretched between them for a long moment. Naturally Fenris declined the idea at first.

 

_Why should I give Varric even more inspiration for his fiction?!_

 

But after some consideration inviting Anders appeared to be quite a good idea.

 

 _He certainly could use some distraction_ , Fenris thought. _And delicious food. And someone nice to talk to._

Admittedly Fenris also longed for those things.

 

It was only then that Fenris realised he had spent almost three days with Anders in his flat, yet not asked him for his number.

 

 _It would have sent the wrong signals!_ , Fenris reasoned with himself. _I don´t want Anders to feel inclined to text me. Or be nice or stuff like that!_ The mere thought of his guest doing things only because he thought he owed him horrified Fenris. _And he doesn´t owe me anything!_

 

So asking for Anders´ number had felt like exploiting the situation back then. Well, taking advantage of a perhaps way too good looking, temporarily homeless man. Which of course was out of the question. Hawke made him pay for that mistake when Fenris “accidentally” run into her the next day, while the dark haired woman checked her mail.

 

“Hey neighbour!”, greeted Fenris. He had no idea how to ask his question, so he immediately came to the point. “You certainly happen to have Anders´ mobile number, right?” 

 

A suspicious eyebrow was raised. “Hm. I might have Anders´ number, yes. Why´re you asking?”

That dumbfounded Fenris quite efficiently. “Eh…”

 

In an instant he found himself in a nasty interrogation.

 

“So you want me to give you that number… Does that imply you want to call Anders? _Privately_?”

 

 _Now that sounds awkward_ …

Anyway, Fenris reply was a shy: “Yes?”

 

“And why do you want to call him?”

 

“Um, I… It´s… An invitation…”

 

Hearing Fenris´ stuttering seemed to soothe Hawke´s strong protection sense, but at the same time fuel her curiosity. Therefore she interrupted him with even more questions:

“Is it because Anders stayed at your place? I thought you blokes hated each other and then suddenly you spend three days together. I mean, it was just the two of you, wasn´t it?! Did I miss something crucial?”

 

“No!” Fenris´ ear tips suddenly felt unusually hot. _I should have asked Anders for his number myself…_

 

Hawke crossed the arms in front of her chest. “No way, I´m not buying it! Why are the both of you so cryptic about it?”

 

“Cryptic about what???”

 

“Oh come on! Anders told me how nice and supportive you have been, but the moment I start to ask questions he blocks. Seriously…” An arm was wrapped around his shoulders and Fenris forced himself to endure the procedure, because he really wanted to get Anders´ number. “…three days with a good looking chap like Anders, and you didn´t even ask for his number? What is wrong with you boys?!”

 

“It was… nothing… I was simply helping him out, while you were gone.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Hawke, will you give me Anders´ number? Please?”

 

The pilot pouted, then sighed, then grinned wickedly. “Alright, I´m giving in. You can have it. IF you tell me-”

 

“Whatever it is, I´m certain it´s none of your business!”

 

Hawke removed her arm and seized his shoulders instead. “You have to understand… I need something to mock Anders with!”

Fenris still didn´t agree to her condition at all. It took him another minute to finally get the number.

When he walked back inside, Fenris´ annoyance made way for a strange feeling in his stomach.

 

 _Nice and supportive_.

 

Was that a fitting description of him? Absent-mindedly he ruffled through his hair. How on earth was he going to call the man without sounding utterly ridiculous???

 

Fortunately, or unfortunately for Fenris, Anders´ phone went straight to voice mail. So the conversation proceeded more than just a bit unplanned.

“Um, hi. I. Er. Would like to… Would you like to join Varric and me for another game night? This is Fenris, by the way. We´re playing on Friday. As usual. Seven o´ clock. See you.”

Fenris immediately hang up. One face palm was not enough to express his lack of social skill. _I wasn´t trained for this!_ he excused himself. He was skilled, certainly. Only more at handling a gun or throwing some deadly punches than at politely inviting a… friend? The word roamed through Fenris´ head.

 

 _Perhaps I should have mentioned that I´d really appreciate Anders´ presence?_ _Too late..._ Despite his regret a second call was not an option.

 

Nevertheless a few hours later Fenris got a text, saying that Anders was more than happy to join them, even if it was quite spontaneously. _Oh, yes._ It apparently was Friday already…

Though the start was rather clumsy, it turned out to be another fun evening. Which of course had absolutely nothing to do with Anders.    

 

From then on Fenris kept looking forward to the game nights even more than he used to do in the past. He chose to ignore any reflection on the reasons for that.

 

On one of Fenris´ cherished game nights, two weeks later, Varric casually mentioned an old friend of his – the name was Donnic and he worked for the local police department – who was said to be an amazing poker player.“You have to challenge him some time!”, the novelist suggested with a meaningful glance. “If you want to, I could bring him along. Of course, I´d have to ask him, when he´s free in the next weeks first.”

One thing led to another and Fenris hypothetically invited an additional guest to his home. Much to Anders dislike, as it seemed.

 

“Aren´t two handsome men enough for you, Varric?”, the vet asked half-jokingly and Fenris, while totally ignoring the compliment, spotted the annoyance in Anders´ voice.

 

 _Is the only reason why Varric suggested Donnic that he´s working for the police? Perhaps he can help Anders with his problems_ …, Fenris wondered. The problems, which hadn´t been subject of any conversation they had had after the incident.

 

Well, of course Fenris wanted to know, if Anders was ok. Honestly, really ok. Up till now, Fenris had accepted the forced smiles and fake cheerfulness whenever Varric asked no one in particular how things were going and if “his boys” were doing ok. Because, like the vet, he, too, put up his poker face and stoically nodded to answer the question every time.

 

Fortunately for Anders, Donnic was a busy man. A week passed and Varric couldn´t even present an answer, if or when the police officer was going to join them.

“It´s such a pity”, sighed Varric. “I´m sure you would like him!”

 

The novelist left early that evening and because Snow had curled herself up in Anders´ lap, one of the rare occasions in which Fenris got to speak to the vet alone opened up.

“I might just stay a little while longer. She looks like she needs some more cuddling”, the vet proclaimed and simply stayed seated on Fenris´ black couch.

 

“You´re the expert”, replied Fenris with a shrug and, since he was feeling strangely out of place – he didn´t want to stand there and watch Anders – he busied himself with the glasses.

When he returned from the kitchen, Snow suddenly cocked her ears and sprinted to the window. Obviously something more interesting was going on outside.

To Fenris´ surprise Anders made no move to leave though the cat was gone. Hesitantly the former soldier sat down again on the kitchen chair he had brought in for their game.

 

 _Why is he still here?_ , wondered Fenris. Never before had Anders shown any interest in staying. _What does he want to do now?_

 

“She´s really lovely”, said the vet and pointed in Snow´s direction in a casual tone. “Have I ever told you, how my Ser Pounce-a-lot routed out a Great Dane?”

 

“Um, no…”, managed Fenris. It was Anders´ smile. _Too damn tempting_. “But I´d like to hear about it.”

 

An hour passed like a quick heartbeat. By now, Fenris was certain Anders would stay for quite some time. Fenris had fetched new glasses and somehow moved onto the couch. The vet had just ended another hilarious story about Pounce, when Fenris realised that this was his one chance to ask Anders, how things were going at the clinic.

 

“So, are you doing ok?”, Fenris asked, admittedly a little out of the blue.

 

“What do you mean?”, asked Anders in a cheerful tone. He checked his glass, which wasn´t empty. “I´m good.”

 

Fenris sighed. He looked up into the vet´s golden eyes and tried again.

“I meant the thugs and Meredith and all of that mess. Are you safe?”

 

Anders´ smile froze. His gaze darted from Fenris to the glasses on the side table to the clock and back, as if he had just noticed where he was and with whom.

With an abrupt move the vet got up.

 

“Yes, I am fine, Fenris”, he said. Fenris couldn´t really place the sound of Anders´ voice.

 

He obviously had ruined the evening and killed the good mood with his question, since a moment later Anders hastily grabbed his coat and with a “Thanks for the drinks” and a quick “Must dash anyway, bye” literally fled the scene.

 

Startled Fenris watched the vet go. Anders´ sudden change of mind – Fenris had hoped for him to stay for another hour or so – confused him. It upset him.

_Anders is fine my ass…_

 

To Fenris it seemed that he only had two options left. He could either continue with letting his concern show, or he could focus on their uplifting chatter instead. It felt wrong, but since Fenris didn´t want to be pushed away again, he made a mental note to dismiss the problematic topic of Anders´ journalism and wellbeing. At least for one week.

 _I can´t do anything to help Anders anyway_...

 

His plan didn´t work out.

Anders excused himself for the next game night with a short text. He had to work late. _Whatever that´s supposed to mean!_

The week stretched into a gaping hole of boredom and frustration. Not even Snow could cheer Fenris up. He didn´t muster the strength to go out either.

 

Of course there still was his routine. Attending to his cat. Working out. Eating. Trying to sleep.

 

Somehow Fenris managed it to get through the first days on his own. Wednesday seemed like a good day. On Wednesday Fenris got another text.

Excitedly he opened it. Anders had written him!

With surprise and slight discontent Fenris noticed that his heart beat had quickened a little. He felt a sudden wave of happiness washing over him.

 

_Am I smiling?_

He had to double-check with his fingers. It was irritating!

Shaking his head over his own stupid behaviour Fenris´ attention returned to the text and…

...nothing.

 

N. O. T. H. I. N. G.

 

Just another excuse. _Anders isn´t showing up. Again._

 

All the happiness and excitement was demolished within a second. Fenris was even too frustrated to be pissed about the fact that one text could affect him so much. Disappointed he scuffed to the windowsill in his living room and sat down. Then he stared through the glass. Time passed. And Fenris just sat there. Somewhen he started to worry.

 

_Is Anders spying again? Has something bad happened and he can´t talk about it???_

 

Fenris didn´t even know, if the vet was living in his clinic again. Anders hadn´t spilled the tiniest of hints during the previous weeks. For a moment Fenris wondered, if he should go and ask Hawke, but the abiding memory of their last conversation kept him from knocking at her door.

 

Eventually the next game night came and went. Varric acted as cheerful as always, yet it was not the same anymore. Something was amiss. Someone. _Damn I miss him. Idiot._

 

“Don´t you worry”, the novelist said. “I bet Anders will show up again soon.”

 

Fenris wanted to believe Varric. Once more the week lay before him like an endless road to nothingness. Every day was a burden.

 

But of course there still was Fenris´ routine. Attending to his cat. Working out.

 

At first Fenris wanted to prolong his training to distract himself. He ended up with sore muscles and skipped his exercises for the rest of the week. Then there was eating. And trying to sleep. Which wouldn´t really work.

 

When the third decline came, it was not surprising Fenris anymore. Anders was sorry to miss another game night. _Kaffas._ Fenris´ life was back to silence. It was “going smoothly”. Well, maybe he had a few more worries than before...

 

Fenris supposed the vet was no longer hiding in Hawke´s flat, since he never met Anders in the neighbourhood and the pilot didn´t mention him. The mere thought of Anders being threatened by some assholes again made Fenris clench his fists.  

 

 _I should go and check on him!_ , Fenris decided suddenly. Yet doubts immediately followed. He had missed the last three game nights.

 

 _What if he doesn´t want to see me anymore? Perhaps I have insulted Anders… Most likely he hates me now. And I don´t even know why._   

 

Putting his mind off that trail of thought, Fenris concentrated his energies on his routine.

 

_Cat. Needs food. Work out. Are five hours a day too much? Eating. Whatever. Trying to sleep. Yes…_

 

In one of the many sleepless nights Fenris had, he realised that his life sucked. Really sucked. Angrily he glared at the ceiling. He wanted all of it gone. The nightmares. The memories. The pain. And he missed Anders.

Being unable to deny that fact at half past four in the morning, Fenris pulled the sheets over his head. And when pulling the sheets over his head wasn´t sufficient anymore, he got up and emptied a bottle of wine. And another. And another.

 

 _Life sucks_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, after taking an involuntary break I´m going to update this one on a more regular basis.  
> Thanks for all the comments and feedback so far, hope you enjoy where this is going to go <3


	10. The Hanged Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Varric, nonchalant novelist, loyal friend and self-proclaimed bar expert, invites Fenris to check out his latest purchase, `The Hanged Man´. Fenris doesn´t know what to expect, since besides old and new acquaintances, Anders is going to be there, too.

 

Fenris couldn´t tell how it had happened, but somewhen it was Friday again. And once more it was the novelist, who saved the day. After a sharp comment on the countless empty wine bottles that is.

 

Varric proudly announced that he had bought the (in)famous bar `The Hanged Man´ and was about to open it to the public. It had been closed for some time and a dubious reputation remained, which according to Varric was a good thing for business.

Isabela had assisted him with settling the paper work. Now all he needed to do was “to go by the book”, which he assumed to be a joke, for Varric saw great parallels in writing one of his novels and successfully running a bar.

 

“Inspired by your will you make it up, you form it, forge it, put your heart and soul into it, then you settle the details, let the critics take apart your beloved creation and finally reap the fruits of the seeds you sowed”, Varric explained. “Which means after a lot of work you earn a lot of money.”

 

“That sounds good”, Fenris replied with a shrug.

 

“Indeed! And I need you to be my undoing. Want some critics testing everything before I open up, so I´ll invite you, Isabela and Donnic to have a go at it. Oh, bring some friends along, if you like! And Blondie! I´ll call him. Need his opinion as well!”

 

Frantically Varric started to dial Anders´ number. It took the novelist under a minute to convince Anders to join them.

Fenris was utterly surprised by that. Shocked even. Yet still glad to hear it. So after three long weeks of complete silence they would be seeing each other again.

Of course that didn´t affect him or the speed of his heartbeat in any way. 

 

 

 

Reaching the entrance of the Hanged Man, Fenris took a moment to look around. They would meet at 7 pm and he was early. Perhaps he would accidentally run into the vet, if he waited outside… Then they might have time to chat before being under Varric´s vigilant eyes… _If Anders wants to talk to me at all…_

 

Temperatures had been dropping over the last few days and though it wasn´t snowing at the moment, it was icy cold. Fenris didn´t bother. He had been trained to wait in hostile environments for hours… The person he was looking for arrived only a few minutes later.

There were a million things Fenris wanted to say or ask.

 

_It´s been weeks of silence!_

 

Anders approached with fast steps. He was wearing a high-collared coat and a long scarf and looked positively murderous. Fenris´ heart dropped. Being engaged in a phone call, the vet didn´t notice Fenris though it was hypothetically impossible to avoid _that_ sort of partly hopeful partly anxious stare.

 

“No, not a chance!”, exclaimed Anders. He was very agitated. “I know you pulled your strings to get rid of their henchmen…”

There was a short break. “Still I can´t sleep without one eye open!”

Another break. Then: “What? No! I won´t quit this time! Never!” Furiously Anders run a hand through his hair. “Look, I know you want me to stay safe. I can look after myself. All I´m saying is that I cannot simply walk into their building and set everything on fire. It takes its time.”

 

Anders almost bumped into Fenris. He threw an irritated glance at him, turned around and finished his conversation with: “Yes, I know. It is unjust to let them get away with it. Won´t happen!”

 

It appeared to Fenris that starting where they had left off – namely Fenris asking Anders if he was ok and safe – wouldn´t be helpful.

So he played his best poker face and smirked: “Clingy Ex-lover?”

 

Hastily the vet shoved the mobile back into his pocket. “Nope. My boss.”

 

_First remark and I have messed it up already. Great…_

 

“Your… research isn´t completed then?”

Again Fenris´ mouth was faster than his brain. Now seemed to be the worst timing ever, for Anders only let out an exasperated sigh. “No, we´re not done yet…”

Fenris waited in vain for further explanations.

“Let´s go in, shall we? It´s freezing”, said the vet. Fenris nodded and followed the blonde man inside.

 

This wasn´t at all how he had pictured their first encounter after weeks…

 

Cast down Fenris closed the door and sighed. The sound didn´t go unnoticed. The vet turned around and crossed the arms in front of his chest. “Bad day?”

Fenris´ cheeks instantaneously heated up. “Not really, no”, Fenris forced out in the most monotonous tone he could muster. He had nothing to lose anymore, right? So he simply stuck to the truth. “I was hoping to catch you… alone.”

 

Furrowed bright brows raised into a surprised expression. “You were waiting for ME?”

 

Fenris rolled his eyes. “I was waiting for catman to drop by, then you came along and scared the poor creature off”, he replied sardonically.

 

Anders´ cheeks turned a slight pink. “Hey, did you just insult my favourite superhero?”

 

It was kind of… _No! Not cute._ Anders wasn´t meant to be labelled as cute.

“Of course I was waiting for you”, replied Fenris. _Idiot vet_.

 

All the bitterness and anger Anders had worn a moment ago was washed away. He smiled. “And what topic might be so important that it´s worth staying outside in the cold?”

Fenris´ eloquence dropped to the level of timber. Anders gladly filled the silence: “I mean, people have done crazier things just to get a personal audience with me.”

Fenris again failed to reply and Anders´ smile dropped a little. “Just kidding…”

 

Before Fenris could come up with a clever retort, Varric saved him the effort. “Welcome to the Hanged Man, gentlemen!”, he greeted and shook their hands violently. His excitement surrounded him like a whiff. The short man was spectacularly overdressed. A smoking and the characteristically broad belt combined with polished black shoes and a waistcoat didn´t look like the novelist was taking the evening lightly.

 

“Alright, let´s see, put your coats over here. Perfect. Donnic´s here already, we´re still waiting for the rest. I´ll make sure you enjoy yourselves tonight, all drinks are on me. In return I expect an honest feedback! Don´t hold back, I want this bar to become one of the finest in town, so I´m going to need all the critique I can get before opening up. Got it?”

 

Fenris and Anders exchanged a look. The vet was still smiling happily, while Fenris still felt a bit baffled.

“Anything for my favourite novelist”, kidded Anders and patted Varric on the shoulder.

“That´s the spirit, Blondie!”

 

 _And_ that _was your only chance to speak to Anders in private_ , thought Fenris. _Kaffas._

 

The Hanged Man was meeting Fenris´ expectations. A couple hundred years ago coaches might have stood in front of the place with tired horses, rogues and whores might have preyed on drunken customers. It was gloomy, although the walls were painted white-ish. The chairs, tables and the bar were made of dark wood and simple. The marble pillars at the far side of the impressive main room gave it an ancient and uniquely “Varrical” touch. In Fenris´ opinion the choice of alcohol was excellent. Two of the tables had been moved close to the bar and one seat was already occupied.

 

“Hi. You must be Donnic.” Fenris nodded at the talented poker player.

The brown haired man looked up from his beer and smiled. “Hey! Glad you´re here! My colleague and Isabela will be late, so it´s only us boys for now.”

 

Fenris took a seat next to Donnic and after a few words of introduction found himself in a conversation about the weird reports on the Hanged Man the policeman had found in his archive.

Hesitantly Anders sat down opposite to Fenris, which was the seat farthest from Donnic. “Hello.”  

Donnic smiled at the vet for a second, then went on with his story. “There have been 32 complaints about scary noises from neighbours. They described them as animalistic or even creepy.”

 

“I bet that have only been some flirting cats”, commented Anders with a roll of his eyes. “They can make some really strange sounds…”

 

“Or it is a hungry, bloodthirsty swarm of rats, still living down in the cellars!”, Varric brought himself in. He waved with a menu and passed it to Fenris. “While you choose your drinks, I can tell you what I have heard about those noises…”

 

 

 

Fenris started the evening with a ginger ale. His alcohol embargo wasn´t on anymore, but he had no desire to drink. Yet. And he was there by car, which meant he most likely wasn´t going to touch any alcohol tonight. Which to his surprise found Varric´s approval.

When Fenris offered to help him with the cocktails, the novelists licked his lips. “That ought to be my burden”, he said, but Fenris could see that his words were appreciated. “I insist”, he replied with a shrug and the thing was settled.

The gesture wasn´t as selfless, as it might appear to be, though…

 

In contrast to Fenris, Anders and Donnic, both women who entered the bar next, were dressed up like Varric: they were wearing blouses – Isabela´s was white, her friend´s was red – and professional looking black trousers with high heels.

 

“Hi Bethany!”, greeted Anders, an amazed look on his face. “I didn´t expect to meet you here!”

 

Confused Fenris watched, as Isabela´s friend wrapped an arm around the vet.

 

“Hey sweetie-pie, nice to see you!”

 

When the dark haired woman – who was admittedly quite beautiful – gave Anders a kiss on the cheek, Fenris clenched his jaw.

 

Any attempt at listening in on their chatter, which might have explained anything, was successfully prevented by Isabela. With a suggestive smile she purred: “It´s also nice to see you again.”

As her hand gave his thigh a slight squeeze, Fenris tensed up from head to toe. Of course it was that especially crappy moment, the vet chose to look at him. Trying to play it cool and failing, Fenris pointedly redirected his gaze at Isabela and started babbling: “So who´s your friend?”

 

“Oh, that´s Bethany. She´s managing one of my clubs. Pure Magic.”

 

“Bethany or the club?”, intervened Varric with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

 

“You might have heard about it”, Isabela continued, totally ignoring the novelist.

 

“Um, no, I haven´t”, stuttered Fenris.

 

“In that case you really should pay us a visit!”

 

Fortunately Bethany demanded a cocktail, everybody else agreed on having one, too, and Fenris immediately offered Varric his help. He would have done a lot of things to flee the scene.

 

Half an hour later the colleague of Donnic, a tall woman who was called Aveline, arrived. She apparently knew the mysterious Bethany as well and they decided to call another person – Carver – to come over.

Fenris spent most of his time discussing the concept for the bar with Varric. From time to time he dared to make a remark to something Isabela had said, which tended to get him an inviting, wide smile. Bethany and the Carver person claimed all of Anders´ attention, while Aveline listened to Donnic with a smile on her lips.

 

 

 

Fenris entered the kitchen with an exasperated sigh. Fetching some drinks had been a good excuse to get some distance between himself and, well, everyone.

 

“There you are!”

 

Mostly everyone.

 

“Anders…”

 

Fenris didn´t get out anything else. Slowly he turned around to face the blonde man, who wore that irritating smile of his. With a few steps the vet crossed the room and leaned against the counter nonchalantly. “Mind if I stay?”

He smiled and Fenris averted his gaze. Of course he wasn´t blushing. _Don´t be stupid._

 

“Um, no. I was about to make drinks for Varric and Donnic.”

 

“Ok, great.”

 

Slightly nervous Fenris started to search the cupboards for the lemons. Like the bar the kitchen was well equipped. No trace of the fruit though.

 

“What are we looking for?”, Anders asked and randomly opened a drawer next to Fenris.

 

“The lemons for Varric´s cocktail…”

 

“Alright.”

 

The silence between them stretched.

 

“So, what was it you wanted to talk about with me earlier?”, asked Anders, before their lack of verbal exchange got any weirder. He was watching Fenris curiously, which wasn´t exactly helpful.

 

“Oh. I simply wanted to ask you, if you´d be at our next game night. Because you´ve missed out the last ones…”

He couldn´t help it, but looked up from the fridge, he had been searching.

 

_Will Anders turn me down? I´ve been too insistent._

 

“Woah, don´t give me THAT look!”, laughed Anders. 

 

“What look?”, asked Fenris, utterly helpless.

 

“You could compete with the puppies at my clinic!”

 

“Nonsense… Your answer?”

 

The vet rubbed the back of his head. “Who could turn down such an invitation…”

 

Instead of “ _what kind of invitation?_ ”, Fenris replied: “So you´re going to be there?”

 

“Yes, I´ll be there.”

 

“Good! I mean… It´s not the same without you.”

 

“Is that so?”, retouched Anders with a raised brow and a cheeky grin.

Fenris ignored the remark. “I´ve found the lemons.”

 

In contrast to the vet he was still serious. Absent-minded he started to cut the fruit in slices. “It was because of all those questions I asked you about the research and… everything, right? That´s why you stopped coming?”

 

Anders bit his lower lip. He looked trapped all of a sudden. “No… not really. It wasn´t your fault! It was mine. I… It´s complicated.”

 

Fenris understood nothing at all. “Ok”, he dared to reply.

 

With clicking heels Bethany entered the kitchen. “Hey, Fenris! Would you make us girls another drink, too, please? Your cocktails are too damn good to stick to one.”

 

“Three”, Fenris automatically corrected.

 

“That´ll be our fourth already? Oh sweet heavens! You think we should wait with the next round?”

 

A weak smile on his lips Fenris shook his head. “The same like last time?”

 

“Yeah!”

 

“Consider it done…”, Fenris said and got to work. Bethany watched them for a few seconds, a suspicious expression on her face. “Anders, will you be coming back with me? You still owe us the end of the story about Hawke and the hedgehog.”

 

Fenris felt like somebody had poured a bucket with ice water over him. Until he heard the vet say: “Not yet. I´m helping Fenris.”

 

“Oh. Ok. See you in a minute!”

And with that Bethany left.

 

“Shall I fetch the ice tubes?”

 

“Pardon?” Fenris mind was paralysed, his body acted on its own as it continued to handle the cocktail shaker.

 

“You don´t know Bethany and Carver yet.” It was a statement, not a question. Fenris nodded.

“No… Should I?”

 

“They´re Hawke´s siblings.”

 

Surprised Fenris pursed his lips. “Oh. I only got Carver is a colleague of Donnic and Aveline.”

 

“Aveline is their boss, actually.”

 

“I bet she is.”

 

The vet handed Fenris the ice tubes with a chuckle. “Right? She seems to have more than everything under control.”

Picturing the impressive ginger woman and how she must be ordering Donnic and Carver around, Fenris smiled. “She´d make a great major”, Fenris agreed. “Um, hey, you want another cocktail, too?”

 

Anders crocked his head to the side and considered it.

“Aren´t you supposed to test the bar with us?”

 

Fenris shrugged.

 

“Instead you keep pouring us drinks and stick to ginger ale. I wonder if you´re following some devilish plan to make us all drunk…” A critical eyebrow was all the vet got as a reply. Fenris turned around to hide his amusement.

 

“So, if that is true, what do you want to do about it?”

 

Looking back up at Anders, Fenris saw a smile creeping on the vet´s face. “I might help you…”

 

“Another Flaming Blue Lamborghini it is then.“

 

“Thanks!”

 

They exchanged a deep look.

 _What am I doing here…_ Fenris scolded himself, but Anders happily babbled on. “Do you want to hear the end of the story with the hedgehog?”

 

“Sure!”

 

After returning to the group half an hour later Anders sat down next to Bethany again, but his eyes stayed on Fenris for a moment longer than perhaps would be considered usual. Or so Fenris caught himself thinking.

 

“Earth to Fenris? Why is the ice in my cocktail almost entirely gone?”

 

“Is it?” Fenris blinked, his eyes darted from Anders to Varric to his glass and back.

“I´m sorry! Guess I completed your cocktail too early.”

 

To his left Isabela let out a chuckle. “Took you quite long to make our drinks this time. Seems the alcohol is getting to you, Fenris. Or maybe some precious -”

“Must be the alcohol!” Fenris kept up his poker face. “Sorry again.”

 

“Nevermind…”, replied the novelist with a shrug and Isabela raised one of her well done eyebrows.

 

“Still tastes great, that´s true. Have you ever considered working as a bar tender?”

 

“Um, no… When I was younger I used to do the drinks for official meetings and special guests.”

 

Isabela folded the hands under her chin. “So you have been working for a company or…?”

 

Fenris took a huge sip of his ginger ale. “The military.”

 

“Ah, I see!” The blackhaired woman´s eyes glittered with curiosity. “That was what Varric referred to as a `troubling past´.”

She didn´t ask any more questions, but chatted on. “I have been to jail once. Stole something… BIG. Today I consider it to be the starting point of my successful career. Funny how bad things can turn out to be good ones in disguise. Today I´d even say the weirder the disguise the better.”

 

“I think I know what you mean…”, was Fenris hesitant reply, though he couldn´t find anything good to associate his past job with. At least not the last defining months.

 

“The day I got to know our Fenris here has been some weird affair with a happy end!”, engaged Varric. “It was the unluckiest day… ever. Long story short, my car was broken, it was the hottest day of the year, my chauffeur could get no signal and Fenris happened to be the only one being at home on a Monday at 9 o´clock. I had tried at least ten houses, before I found him. And he almost slammed the door in my face. Didn´t even know who I was when I rang his bell and asked for a glass of water. He thought I was a member of the Royal Rangers!”

 

“You looked and smelled like one. No offence”, added Fenris.

 

Isabela smirked. “Aw, remember our first meeting at that worn down bar? I only go there to relax, dance and let off some steam where only few people know me. Later you show up at my party. Strange first meeting, super strange second meeting, who knows where this is going…”

She looked up through her lashes.

 

“Fenris?”, interrupted the man with the soft brown eyes. It was Donnic and Fenris lifted his hand to acknowledge he´d heard him. “Can you settle a debate for us? I overheard you´ve been serving in the military…”


End file.
